New wife gives hubby the evil eye for late nights

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This article was published 05/03/2018 (3135 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new wife (my third) is turning out to be weird. She’s recently gotten deeply into her witchcraft.

I’m not scared of her or any of her strange friends, but I must admit it worries me to actively disagree with her. She gives me the evil eye and that kind of creeps me out.

What other things could she do?

This week, I’m in trouble for staying out until 4 a.m. at the casino. She accused me of seeing another woman, as that’s the lie I used when I was seeing her and I was still married to wife No. 2.

I don’t know if she’d try to cast a spell on me, but I wouldn’t put it past her. She once told me about a spell that would keep the victim constipated for three weeks. She laughed, but it wasn’t a nice laugh. It didn’t sound like she was kidding. What do you suggest for me? — Married to a Witch, Downtown

Dear Married: She’s using her brain to psych you out. So, start using your own brain.

How about this? Stop using the same old line you used when you were sneaking out on your second wife. She knows about that lie, as she was part it.

That lie is suspiciously stupid. Do you want to get caught? It sounds like it.

Try honesty instead — a new concept for you in romance. Since you’re a guy who can’t stick to one woman, it’s time to accept that about yourself and admit it to any and all partners.

Ask your present wife about an open marriage where you can both see other people or tell her you have to move on, because no marriage is strong enough to keep you faithful.

She might be angry and hurt, but at least it’d be offering her an alternate situation for consideration. If she hits the roof, point out the serious turn of her witchcraft — not a part of the initial marriage situation you entered with her. Tell her you find it too spooky — not something you feel comfortable being around.

A marriage made with lies or “errors of omission” on both sides has no foundation to keep it stable and strong.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m over 50 and have never been married, so needless to say I prayed and prayed for a man to come into my life. If I live to be 150 years old, I’ll never pray for a man again. A man came into my life who posed as someone prestigious, smart, confident and into health. Actually, he’s not.

I’m no longer attracted to him because he has gained 50 pounds since we began dating. We don’t sleep in the same bed, because he snores louder than a freight train. The only time we go out is when I pay.

At Christmas time, he wanted to spend time with his children, so he used a coupon I received for a present because he is too cheap to shell out any money.

He has a good job, but is always broke. He does have many children with three different women, so he has been paying child support for many years. I understand why all these ladies dumped that selfish guy!

I’ve asked him to leave because he has terrible hygiene, eats like a starving animal, breaks my belongings, burns my pots and pans and is always trying to hide things from me. I have a great job that I love that “just” pays the bills.

I need to get on with my life, but this guy will not leave. He just ups and leaves on holidays anytime he likes, but always comes back. How freakin’ annoying. I am inches away from cheating on him just to get rid of him, but that seems really sleazy. — Frustrated Reader, Winnipeg

Dear Frustrated: Granted, cheating is not the way to get rid of him, as it just diminishes you in your own eyes and his.

If he finds out, he might even stay to take advantage of your guilt and feel he has the excuse for nasty payback.

But here’s the good news: you’re not stuck with him!

It’s your house and you have asked him to leave.

A lawyer’s interference may be enough to get him out of your house. (He’s law-abiding enough to pay child support.)

Check with your lawyer as to what you will owe him with regards to a common-law marriage split-up, as he seems to have been there with you a while — at least long enough to gain those 50 pounds.

If he absolutely refuses to go, you can have him removed safely by the police.

Call their non-emergency line and talk to a police officer on how to go about that and how to keep him away from you for good after he’s been removed.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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