Nothing sexy about being hounded by wife

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/03/2018 (2776 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife has sex on the brain. Since we came back from our honeymoon, where we had a lot of time to do nothing but fool around, she has been ambushing me coming in or out of the shower in the morning, when I get home tired from work at night, in the garage when we get home with the groceries or on the sofa when I’m watching TV. I’m talking about three or four attacks a day where she’s grabbing me and demanding sex.

My wife is no softie. She takes fighting classes. Last night, I didn’t want sex and she hooked her foot over my ankle and pushed me off balance and I ended up on the floor on my back. I grabbed her by the shoulders as she came down on me and told her to stop. I said there was nothing romantic about what she was doing and I was so turned off I couldn’t do anything. “You make me sick! You have turned into a selfish s–t,” I yelled.

She ran into the bedroom and locked the door. I listened for crying, but didn’t hear anything. She was on the phone whispering.

About 20 minutes later, she ran out of the bedroom and out the back door and hopped into a big black truck. Her girlfriends don’t drive trucks like that. That was a guy and no one I know, and I don’t believe she’s staying with her parents.

I have nothing to say to her and apparently she has nothing to say to me. Now what? This is not your regular newlywed fight. I will not be attacked and live like that. — Forced Sex Not Happening, Winnipeg

Dear Forced Sex Not Happening: Forced sex is repugnant, no matter if it’s a male or female who tries to do it. If you weren’t married to her, you would break up with her. Since it’s only been a short while, consider doing just that. You need to find out what’s going on with her mind, who that guy is in the black truck and what he means to her. You need to settle with each other, so you need financial and legal advice.

Why not talk to your wife right now? You need to get a lot of questions answered so they aren’t swimming in your head for years. You should talk with a counsellor together, as well.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother-in-law is great, but my own mom is tough to deal with. Finally, at my 40th birthday party, I blew up.

My mother bosses everyone around. She picks the easiest victims first and my sweet mother-in-law runs when she’s ordered to do things.

At my birthday party, my wife invited everybody here.

My mother came in with her own birthday cake for me, even though she knew my wife had one already.

Then my mother started barking out orders at my mother-in-law to set the table properly. My mother-in-law started to cry.

She just stood there helplessly before saying she was leaving because she couldn’t take my mom’s bullying anymore.

I saw red and told her to stay. Then I picked up the birthday cake my mother brought, guided her swiftly out the door to her car and said: “Go home and don’t come back here until you’ve started seeing a shrink about your bullying problem. You have bullied the whole family for years, including me. You will not bully my wife’s family.”

She yelled that I loved my mother-in-law best and I said at that moment I did because she treats everybody better, including me.

I told her not to call me until she got some help. She gunned it out the driveway, hitting the garbage cans and started speeding down the road. I felt liberated and it turned out to be a great party. Now, when do you think I should I call my mom? — Anxiety Setting In, Fort Richmond

Dear Anxiety Setting In: Don’t be so anxious to cave and call your mom.

Just let her phone when you said she could — when she has started to get help and has had sessions with a counsellor.

If she lets it get back to you there’s a long waiting list for a psychiatrist on medicare, let a sibling inform her that a psychologist can be booked within 24-48 hours on an emergency basis. Clergy often counsel for free.

Also, there’s a free walk-in at Klinic at 870 Portage Ave., almost daily, including early evenings (204-784-4067 for hours).

If the counsellor wants to see you too, be willing to go and get it all out on the table.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6