Some hot tub users don’t feel it’s rude to be nude

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This article was published 23/03/2018 (3080 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We have an outdoor hot tub. Our new neighbours have not missed this fact, as they can see us from their upstairs windows. After a few hints, my wife and I invited them over and we were shocked when they said they didn’t need to change. Beside the tub, they slipped off all their clothes and hopped in.

We didn’t see anything much until we got out of the water and they were reaching for towels, but it was weird to be sitting in the tub with them knowing they were naked under the water. They didn’t allude to it, except to say cheerfully that’s how they thought it was done.

They were nice people and I would like to have them over again and be friends, but I don’t want to feel strange in the tub. All I could think about was the lady’s ample attributes in the bubbles. Should we tell them there’s a rule to wear suits in our tub? — Odd Sitch in the Tub, Westwood

Dear Odd Sitch in the Tub: They may have figured this out from their last visit and would wear suits now without being told. It may also not have escaped the notice of the couple that you were staring at the wife’s lovely chest. If you are adamant about a rule, you could put a discreet little sign by the door that goes out to the hot tub reading: Swimsuits in tub, please. They can go home next door and pick up suits if they “forgot” them. Bottom line — it’s your tub. If you don’t want people naked in it, you have to let them know. You’re probably safe inviting them back, expecting that they will bring swimsuits. They would have to be super nervy to come back a second time without them. Give it another whirl without saying anything and trust that it will go well. They’re nice people and they’re going to be your neighbours, perhaps for a long time

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My fiancée wants to take nude pictures of me with her instant camera and I refuse. She wonders why I would be worried since we are getting married. She kept arguing and pushing. I’m mad, but won’t argue with her. I don’t have the words anyway.

I don’t know why I don’t want nude photos of me taken, but I just don’t. Do I have to have a good reason? She offered to let me take nude photos of her and I said no. Then she was offended and called me a prude. I love her, but I don’t like her right now!

Why would she try to push this stupid photo shoot on me? Is there more to her I don’t know? And why wouldn’t she respect me when I said no? I’m not particularly shy, but I have a job where I’m pretty well known.

I don’t trust her not to show a girlfriend or even take a photo of the Polaroid with her phone and send it to a close friend.

It worries me that I don’t trust my wife-to-be not to expose me to ridicule. What do you think? — Nobody’s Fool, Downtown

Dear Nobody’s Fool: You really need to talk to your camera-happy fiancée about underlying issues. Explain what it could do to you if photos like that went pinging around the city from computer to computer.

And do explain to her how you feel when she doesn’t care enough about your feelings to accept your refusal with understanding and respect.

That’s an emotional tie that should be explored, repaired and guarded.

She sounds immature and short-sighted.

People have been known to take stealth shots when their man or woman is sleeping nude with the covers kicked off.

If she doesn’t soften, you might want to wear boxers for sleeping, at least for the next little while. If she’s still miffed and this isn’t settled, you never know when she’ll strike.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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