Friend’s love of young men OK, until it was her son

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This article was published 09/04/2018 (3098 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a friend who is the same age as me in her early 40s.

She has always liked younger men, and even married one and divorced him because he acted like an older guy. He was a workaholic who was trying to be financially successful. She loved the money, but not the lack of fun and sexual action. Her boyfriends after him were inappropriately younger in my opinion, but it wasn’t my problem.

Now it is my problem. I just found out she has been secretly dating my oldest son.

I’m sick about it. I phoned her and told her to keep her mitts off him, and I haven’t spoken to her since. I then told him to stop seeing her, and he told me to mind my own business because he’s in his 20s now. He feels he’s old enough to do anything with anybody he chooses. What can I do? She is a sick, sick woman to go after my son. What can I do? — Helpless Mom, Tuxedo

Dear Helpless Mom: If he weren’t intrigued, he wouldn’t have responded to her or he may have made a play for her himself. Not surprisingly, he may have found her sexually exciting after overhearing some of her escapades with younger guys when she was bragging to you.

This woman has no boundaries. Most cougars who go after young guys will stay away from their friends’ sons, but this one can’t be trusted anywhere near prey. Is your son still living at your house? Whether he is or not, make sure to tell him she’s not welcome in the house ever again.

Let’s hope her attention span is short.

Your best bet is to get her missing you — her former close friend — and your willing ear for her sex stories.

She might actually drop your son to try to get back your friendship. Give her some hope of getting you back, if she does, and once she drops him, she’ll find out that ploy isn’t going to win you back. Two can play this game.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a very special boyfriend when I was in high school. We loved each other madly, but didn’t get married then because we were way too young.

I got married later, had kids and became widowed young. Then I got together with my best male friend and we raised my kids together. It was never a big romantic thing and we drifted apart after the kids left.

This past year, I prayed for a new man to come into my life, and then I ran into my old boyfriend at the mall at Christmas. He was recently divorced and I told him I was on my own, too. Since then, we have been sneaking to see each other because we know so many of the same people and we didn’t want people talking and speculating. Then his ex-wife found out we were seeing each other and decided we must have been having an affair throughout their whole marriage.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

What should we do about his ex now? This a big problem for us. She’s raising all kinds of hell with him and upsetting their kids. Please help us! — First Loves in Love Again, Winnipeg

Dear First Loves in Love Again: His ex-wife must still have feelings for him because she is so jealous. She wants to blame him for the breakup and end things between the two of you. Or perhaps she just wants to cause a stir and try to alienate the kids from him so he has to pay a painful price for being happy with someone else.

She and her ex — now your romantic partner — need to talk with a relationship counsellor who can keep them from fighting and work out a peaceful end to their relationship, especially for the sake of the kids. The counsellor might even want to bring in your ex-partner to vouch for his many years with you. Write back and let me know how it goes.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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