He wanted more out of fling than she was willing to give

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 08/04/2018 (2745 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was away for work in an American city and met a wonderful woman in my hotel bar. We were staying in the same hotel, on the same floor, and then the same bed most of the time. It felt like it was meant to be. The sex was out of this world.

On the last night, I asked her if we could meet again the next time we were back on business. She said she had something bad to tell me: she was married, but not happily, even though they were still together.

She wasn’t wearing a wedding ring and admitted she took it off because she couldn’t resist me and wanted some romance in her life. She took the ring out of her purse, showed me and then threw it back in. She already knew I was married because I wore my wedding ring the whole time, but we didn’t ever talk about it. So now why am I feeling so shocked and betrayed? I’m almost as bad as she is.

— Hurting and Angry, Winnipeg

Dear Hurting and Angry: You’re both guilty of deception to different degrees. She lied to you, a man who was openly cheating with her. So who is the worst? You wore your ring, but didn’t talk about your wife. She didn’t ask. Maybe she felt she didn’t need to get into the details of her own deception, without talking about yours. Then the romantic spell might be broken. But for her, it was a one-time thing. It seems she was saying, “One week with you is all I can do — just a little romance.”

If you started meeting to see each other regularly, emotion would build and your marriages — possibly with children — might break up. It seems that this one-time fling makes the most sense before you fall in love and things get complicated. Or, has that happened for you already?

Here’s a pail of cold water to pour over your head: it hasn’t happened for her emotionally, at least not yet, as she was able to call a halt. Since she has no problem removing her ring when it suits her, you may not have been her first away-from-home romance. Can you enjoy it for what it was? After all, you’re no angel yourself.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m embarrassed. I’m a guy in my 30s and I just cried. I’m feeling sad and fed up about the long winter. This morning, I started considering taking a second trip south. I used a seasonal affective disorder light this year and it helped, but it’s not just the light, it’s the length of the cold weather. Would a second trip actually help?

— Down With the Weather, Fort Garry

Dear Down With the Weather: Do it! Go alone, or with a pal. Taking another trip would certainly put an end to the feeling you are having that winter will never end, even before you get on the plane. By taking back your power, you’ll feel better, right from the time you book it and start bragging about it. Get your suitcases out immediately and start shopping for a trip today.

Then there’s the trip, the sunshine itself, plus the new experiences, the water, the sea air, the new friends and fancy cocktails and the time afterward showing off your photos. By the time you’re back it should be warmer here.

Now, call your favourite travel agent ASAP and find out about best places to go, or book it yourself online.

You can find some fantastic deals in April.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts

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Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6