Take a pass on hubby’s boozy camping trips

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/04/2019 (2727 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband has gotten into camping as of the this past year, and he’s getting all excited about the approaching warm weather and going out with his buddies. The thing is, he says he always wants me to come along, and if I don’t, he acts disappointed and says I’m a wet blanket. The fact is, he and his friends get wasted and I can’t stand being around them like that.

I love my husband, and for the most part, he isn’t a sloppy drunk. It’s just like something flips a switch in his head when he goes camping, and it’s like him and his friends are back in high school. He comes home very hungover and pretends he isn’t.

How can I remove myself from the whole camping thing for good without hurting his feelings? — Stop Asking Me, St. Vital

Dear Camper: He’d probably be thrilled if you removed yourself from his camping parties for good. He likes to go with his male buddies. Chances are he’s feigning disappointment in an attempt to seem like he wants you with him.

Just like women don’t want a guy at a women’s party at the cabin, you’d be in the way, not just for him. Even if he does actually want you there on some level, his friends don’t.

Your husband is feeling guilty, so a way to alleviate the pressure is to say, “Look, honey, if you want me to go camping with you, I’ll go with you on a romantic trip with just the two of us, but I don’t want to be there with all your friends while they’re getting drunk. If you really want to please me, let’s rent a cabin at the lake for a couple of weeks.”

It’s always good to give people ways they can make you happy.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am the kind of guy who has mistakenly always bought his wife flowers when she’s mad, but really only then. It’s at the point where, if I bring them home after a fight, she just gets mad and tells me they’re just a reminder of the fight.

I saw a video online recently from a guy who talked about buying flowers for his wife and daughter randomly because it means more, but I just never seem to think about it.

Is there any way I can get out of the doghouse and still be able to buy my wife flowers? It’s lost its meaning, but I want to get it back. How can I do this? — Flower Guy, South Winnipeg

Dear Flower Guy: Right now, she associates fighting with flowers, and you need to change that. Next time, write her a sweet note and don’t buy flowers. If you look online, there are websites that track silly special days such as National Spaghetti Day (Jan. 4), Naked Gardening Day (May 4), or, best of all, World Kissing Day (July 6). Mark some of these days on your calendar, or if you can’t trust yourself to look at it in time, make a deal with your favourite florist for flowers to be sent out to her at work, on a couple of those days and pre-pay. This should amuse your wife, and everyone who sees them will think she’s lucky and well-loved.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Working from home is great, but I find myself getting really lonely and squirrelly. They say the grass is always greener on the other side, and when I was working full time at a business, all I wanted was to work from home. Now that I work from home, I’m missing the interaction with people.

What’s wrong with me? — Feeling Crazy, Norwood

Dear Crazy: Anybody can go stir-crazy if they’re in the house for a long period of time without company. You need to build a structure into your life where you go out partway through the day — for lunch or a workout at the gym.

I see you’re from Norwood. There’s a lot happening year-round at The Forks, including entertainment, classes, and a bustling food court. Invite friends for an inexpensive lunch in The Common inside The Forks Market.

Being outdoors is healing, even when on your own. By going for a walk at a certain time every day, you will meet the same people with their dogs or in their running gear. Feel free to say “hi” as you walk by each other every day! P.S. If you work at home during the day, you, more than anybody needs to go out and have fun at night.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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