Takes more than money to make a winner

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This article was published 12/04/2019 (2732 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Why do women like men with money? I’ve heard it’s because power is “attractive,” but I just don’t get it. I’m not poor, but my ex just linked up with a guy who earns a ton more money than I do.

All my friends are talking about the sporty car he lets her drive, the holidays and the fancy clothes he buys for her. I even overheard some of them say my ex is lucky. I guess that means she’s luckier than she was with me because she hit the jackpot with him. Was I just her…

— Temporary Loser? St. James

Dear Temporary: A guy with less money is not a loser. If he has a great personality, generous spirit and likes to do things for his lady — as she does for him — then he’s a winner. But if she is forced to pay for everything because he’s always broke, busted and disgusted, that’s another story.

The same problem arises if the woman is always broke and the man has to pay for everything, unless he’s old-fashioned and prefers that.

You may not have a job or career that’s going to make you rich, so you need a woman who makes her own money, likes her career, and enjoys the financial give-and-take between you. If you get married, that will mean having a double income most of the time.

A bad match is a guy who makes less money who marries a woman who doesn’t want to continue working outside the home and prefers to stay home with a bunch of kids. Then the one income is stretched to the max, resulting in resentment and bad feelings.

Not all women who want a well-to-do man are gold diggers. A woman who wants to stay home and have a big brood should shop for a guy who makes good money and wants lots of kids, and make no apologies for it. If he’s got the money and wants to be the sole supporter and big daddy, there’s no problem with that match.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is working with his ex-wife and something’s got to give. I’m 99 per cent sure she knew he worked there before she applied for the job. Because they both have similar education and training, she’s working in the department right next to his.

He says it’s “no big deal” and that I have nothing to worry about. I trust him not to cheat on me, or at least I thought I did, until recently. I drove down there the other day to surprise him with lunch, and saw his ex rubbing the exact place on his back I rub for him when he’s been on the computer too long.

I just about flipped. When he saw me, he pretended nothing bad was going on.

I used to be someone who wasn’t suspicious, but she had her hands on him. I’ve never been in this kind of awkward and horrible position before. What should I do?

— Fit To be Tied, North Kildonan

Dear Tied: The touching was done openly in the office, so that’s a plus. They’re not hiding anything. But the familiarity of it must have driven you mad.

You and your husband need counselling right away (though he might not think so). Fight for your love — there’s no shame in that. In fact, you should go to the counsellor alone at first, so you can speak freely.

You may also want to plan what you say if you phone this woman. It sounds like she has a major plan to get him back and she has the advantage all day, until you shine a light on her and her tactics.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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