Drunken bar hookup steals more than his heart

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/04/2019 (2725 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a bad woman at the bar when I was drinking to celebrate my best gambling win ever, and took her home to my place. What could a little woman do to hurt me in my home? Lots, as it turns out.

She asked me to give her a tour around the house. Then, after we had fun in the bedroom (where she kept handing me more drinks), I kind of fell asleep. Actually, I passed out cold and slept blissfully until morning.

When I got up, she was gone. My wallet was $300 lighter and I noticed a few knick-knacks were gone from around the house. I have no idea who she is, not even her first name. 

Should I call the hotel where I met her, or should I just shut up and consider it a $300 lesson?

— Three Hundred Dollar Question, St. Vital

Dear Question: Even though it’s embarrassing, call the police. And by all means, call the hotel manager and describe what happened. Tell the manager you have called police and they will take you seriously. A manager is also less likely to be in on this woman’s scam, as opposed to one of the bar staff who may see her regularly.

The manager will likely give the bartenders and bouncers orders to kick this woman out, if they recognize her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m really bothered by your response to the woman who’s messing with a married co-worker, who claims he loves both women, but in different ways.

He justifies betraying his wife by claiming she has given up on sex. Lots of men lie and assure their girlfriend that they never sleep with their wife anymore. And if the wife has given up on sex, maybe he had something to do with it.  Since when is that a licence to betray your life partner?

This woman needs to be told to stay away from married men. They took vows, they’re off limits, full stop. Sheesh!

— Fed Up With Nonsense, River Heights

Dear Fed Up With Nonsense: It’s easy for people who have decent marriages with a certain amount of sex (perhaps like you?) to condemn other people who are freezing in their marriage beds and may end up looking for affection somewhere else.

Experts say 15-20 per cent of marriages in North America are sexless these days. Overwork, clashing schedules, child care and just plain lack of desire are some of the contributors to sexual shutdown.

Many men with children and a “friends, but no sex” relationship with their wives, still have a sex drive. Some women are the ones who want sex badly but their husbands are so stressed and overworked, they can’t or won’t play anymore.

Most couples in unsatisfying marriages really don’t want to split up the family, at least until the kids are gone. But if they want a skin-to-skin passionate sex life (not just self-entertainment), then what are they to do?

Some men and women think the “romantic marriage” deal they signed up for is over when the sexual intimacy is gone. They see the hidden affair as a way to keep their home intact for the children’s sake. You and many others don’t see it this way, but it’s a reality that some do.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I have spent our Saturday cleaning and preparing food for friends who were supposed to be coming down for a get-together with us for dinner. But, as expected, around 4 p.m. we got a text from them saying, “something had come up.” This isn’t the first time they’ve cancelled at the last minute with some vague excuse.

I understand sometimes stuff happens and plans need to be cancelled or rescheduled, but I’m not buying the constant excuses. I don’t believe you get sick on a weekly basis, and I’m pretty sure by, “something came up,” they mean they’d rather stay home.

How should I respond to these people? I’m not trying to be a jerk. I just don’t want to be treated like my time isn’t as valuable as theirs.

— Resenting Constant No-Shows

Dear Resenting: Why do you let this keep happening? Seriously, you need to start extending your hospitality to other people and stop asking this couple who insult you with their rude behaviour.

Either this is not what they like to do, or they don’t want your company, or both.

These people are not acting like true friends, so let them go. Luckily, there are other people in the world.

Make a list of friends and relations and neighbours and invite them to different dinner parties. Only invite those who would appreciate it.

Good Luck!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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