Working guy overwhelmed by girlfriend’s sexual appetite

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This article was published 22/06/2019 (2628 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My live-in girlfriend is very sexual, and she wants sex when she wants it. Lately, she’s been complaining she isn’t getting enough action and I argued with her. She secretly started marking X signs in red ink on a calendar page and keeping track.

Last night, when I was dog tired and begging off again, she presented me with my track record, and it was three or four times a week. That’s enough. I’m not her boy toy. If she wants more, she needs another guy. I’m a human being with an important job in the legal world requiring a lot of energy, and eight to 10 solid hours of sleep.

I’m so tired at bedtime I often fall asleep in my “man chair.” Don’t get me wrong, I really love this woman and want to keep her. Help!

— Victim of a Marker Pen, Southdale

Dear Victim: Don’t wait for bedtime to decide if you still want to have sex with the little bit of energy you have left. And don’t wait until after a big dinner when you’re naturally sleepy from the effect of the food. A good time for you two would be the minute she walks in the door from work, or in the morning in the shower, and then buy her a sex toy for your “nights off.” Let us know how it goes!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My partner and I are in our early 20s, and have been together three years and are currently living in my “parents-in-law’s” suite in River Heights. It’s helping us save for our first place.

I now plan on staying with my parents for two years to save more because they will let me live with them rent-free. I don’t want to move out until I get a raise at work, and because my blind, diaper-clad, senior dog might pass away with the stress and confusion of a new home, as he’s by himself all day.

I grew up in Whyte Ridge and my boyfriend is from Transcona. My parents have let my partner move in because he is now estranged from his family, and having a hard time making ends meet.

Now it appears he will be getting some inheritance money in the very near future, and he wants to buy a house in East Kildonan or Transcona. I know the stereotypes those neighbourhoods have and that I shouldn’t judge too quickly, but I’d much rather buy a home in Osborne, Wolseley, Earl Grey or Norwood. He says he’d feel too far from his friends.

We’re talking about marriage, but we can’t come to an agreement on where to live. I understand we come from totally different socioeconomic backgrounds and families, and I’m lucky to be in a position to buy instead of rent when I move out. But, am I being a snob for not wanting to move to T-Town?

— Butting Heads Over First House, Whyte Ridge

Dear Butting Heads: You’d actually part with your young man to stay home with your parents two more years after this? A lot of young men would tell you to kiss off, in this situation. It doesn’t sound like you’re deeply in love with this boyfriend. Nor does it sound like you’re mature enough to leave home, and you may be making excuses to stay with your parents.

The parental unit must be getting fed up with you and the boyfriend living there for free, as it isn’t free for them! It’s time you re-thought this relationship. If you want a lifetime marriage, the love relationship should be much tighter than this, from the get-go.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I would think in this day and age, that any woman should be able to tell Sleazy Dad (the father of her boyfriend who ogles her) that what he said is inappropriate. Your advice suggested she should go through a man (her boyfriend) to tell Sleazy Dad? I don’t think so. We are not damsels in distress anymore.

— Liberated Woman, Winnipeg

Dear Liberated: Some women are liberated and unafraid in this day and age, and some are not. There has been liberation and backlash — and recently, thankfully, a new push for a greater type of liberation (though there are still a lot of timid women).

Family power lines are hard to deal with and too many younger women remain victims within families when they need to speak up. Yes, she should tell Sleazy Dad off, but if she can’t, her boyfriend should do the job. If her boyfriend doesn’t tell his dad to smarten up, the girlfriend will be waiting for “the next time” and that could be a tension-packed wait. Better to get this remedied fast!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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