Don’t jump to conclusions about crush

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This article was published 29/07/2019 (2582 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I used to love this carrot-top guy in high school and we had everything in common, interests-wise. But he dumped me for no reason I could ever figure out.

His sister came up to me one night at St. Vital Centre recently and we went for coffee and talked about old high-school days. Then she held out the piece of the puzzle I was missing.

It was the photo of her brother and his red-headed wife at their wedding. She looked just like his sister.

I had always thought he and his sister seemed abnormally close; she even chose his girlfriends for him in school, after he dumped me.

Suddenly, I understood that I was never what he wanted to look at, no matter how I tried. He wanted a carbon copy of his sister — to have and to hold. Isn’t that kind of creepy?

— His Former Blond Girlfriend, Brandon

Dear Blondie: I highly doubt her brother married a redhead so he could, in essence, bed his sister, which is what you’re inferring. Oh, yes you are!

So let’s talk turkey. This guy didn’t fall in love with you — and it could have to do with many things other than your lack of red hair. Maybe he was initially drawn to this redhead because he knows what it’s like to be a carrot top — people notice, make remarks, assume you’re hot-headed. Then, the feelings had to go much deeper than the hair colour — to love this girl and marry her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a bisexual, I own a store and my wife and her family have major shares in it. Recently, she hired a really good-looking guy to work in the store and I’m starting to feel attracted to him. It is totally forbidden in my mind to feel this way but my feelings are happening anyway.

Recently, my wife mentioned how good-looking the guy was and I was shocked that she even said it. But now this fantasy has taken over my mind where we all have a threesome together.

It wouldn’t be the first time with my wife doing a threesome, but we’re in a working couple/employee situation here. What should we do?

— Obsessing on Three, Windsor Park

Dear Obsessing: Just forget it! If you two hit on this employee for a threesome, this would make for one huge workplace-rights complaint and you and your wife would be the big losers. You can’t have everything (or everyone) you want in life so just back off, now!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is very big in the abdomen and has started referring to herself as “The Whale.” At first, I told her to stop putting herself down and then one day, in a silly mood, I also referred to her as the Whale.

Well, you would have thought this was the first time she’d heard the expression! She started going off, yelling, and then crying, and you’d think it was the worst insult she’d ever heard and that it was the first time. It was her invention, for God’s sake!

Now, she’s barely talking to me and I hear her jumping on and off the scale all the time. She needs to lose weight, but not with a vengeance like this.

— Husband Who Can’t Take It Back, Transcona

Dear Husband: Some things you can’t get back in your mouth, so you have to own that you said the hurtful expression, even though your wife introduced “The Whale” herself.

You should have privately told her she’s insulting the woman you love. A nasty nickname needs to be stopped by the people who love the person who’s ashamed and mistakenly trying to make a funny. It always backfires.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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