Be wary of jilted ex’s potential anger

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/12/2019 (2495 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts:  I have been stringing a guy along for the past few months, because I didn’t want to be alone. Last night I finally told him I was feeling restless and needed to move on, and I wished him the best.

He laughed a strange laugh, and said, “I wondered when you were going to catch on. I’ve been trying to ease you off this relationship. But I know you have had a hard time finding a boyfriend, being a BIG girl, and I didn’t want to disappoint you too badly.”

Then he laughed, and it was not a nice laugh, and took off, squealing his tires on the icy road.

Was he faking that he was trying to get rid of me? What do you think? — Dumper, NOT the Dumpee, Brandon

Dear Dumper: It sounds like he was faking that he orchestrated the breakup. He wouldn’t be so angry if it was actually his idea to dump you. He would have been relieved, and he wouldn’t have found it necessary to give you a fat-girl insult before he squealed out.

Be careful with him. He’s angry, his pride is hurt and he sounds like he could be nasty. Don’t meet this guy anywhere on any excuse and, if he calls, I suggest you ignore the call.

By the way, you have not been an angel yourself. You have been less than honest and classy by stringing this guy along. Just let this whole thing go now.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was supposed to go on a holiday in January with a group of single girlfriends. I’ve just had a big fight with one of them and now she told the organizer she won’t go if I’m going to be there.

The organizer just phoned and said she’d rather have me than the other girlfriend who is a trouble-maker, especially when she’s been drinking.

Coincidentally, that’s when I had the fight with her recently. She is a bad drinker and holidays usually involve drinks like tequila — the worst thing, a real crazy maker.

What is the right thing to do here? I really want to go. — Vacation Mess, Winnipeg

Dear Vacation Mess: Let the organizer tell the woman who claims she won’t go if you go, that you are definitely going. Then see what happens. The angry lady who over-drinks is hoping she’s scared you off going — in fact, she’s counting on it.

Let the organizer know you’d be willing to try to work out the problem when the other lady, but whatever happens, you don’t think it wise to share the same room, as there might be more tangles.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts:  We have a big family, and it’s great most of the time. But this year the wealthy ones are getting together in February on a cruise. We can’t afford to go and don’t even want to go, but my very wealthy parents want to pay for me and my younger brother and our two young families to go.

Cruises are not the best places for little children, in my opinion, and we have said no.

My parents are hurt that we have refused their generous offer. I tried to explain we’d be more comfortable at home with the tiny kids in their own beds.

My dad understands that, but my mother is very hurt. I don’t know how to make it better. Please help us explain to Mom. — Don’t Want To Hurt Mom, River Heights

Dear Don’t Want to Hurt Mom: Your mother, like many moms, has a vision of all her children and the grandchildren playing together and having a wonderful time.

She may have forgotten how difficult it can be on holiday with tiny children who don’t like the heat or, in this case, the movement of the boat or the ship berths for sleeping. Plus, the cousins might get irritated being together 24-7.

Tell your mom you might be able to go when the kids are older and better able to handle a cruise. See if that will mollify her. That way you’re not giving her family dream total rejection.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend moved into my beautiful little apartment with me two years ago and we got married last summer. We are very happy, but he has decided we have outgrown my apartment and he wants to buy a small house.

He says he wants to make “an investment” and not throw our rent money down a hole every month.

Miss L., I don’t want the snow shovelling and the leaf raking and the gardening and the painting and the upkeep and the utility bills.

In this apartment we pay very little, splitting the rent, so his argument is not strong. He used to say he loved staying at my apartment. What’s wrong now? — Don’t Want a House! Osborne Village

Dear Don’t Want a House: It could be the very fact that you think of it as “your apartment” that bugs him, and he wants to share a place you and he both own. He needs an equal stake in the place, now you’re actually married.

And he may even be looking forward to having babies with you in your own home.

You have enjoyed your own dream apartment, but now it’s time to loosen up your attitude and share equally in a home together. Even if you just move into a new apartment or condo you pick out together, it will seem more like a shared decision.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.