Romantic reunion could turn into a crapshoot

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This article was published 18/02/2020 (2368 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just heard from an old gambling boyfriend in Toronto who wanted to know if I’m still married. I’m not — I guess word got out.

He told me he still likes me a lot, and if I’m ever wanting to go on a little trip to give him a call — he’d love to take me to Las Vegas. Well, that tells me something. He’s still gambling, and doesn’t think other people have any idea how much. He’s a clever gambler and doesn’t lose a lot of money, but it’s the most important thing in his life.

I wrote him back, and all I said was: “So you’re still in love with the gambling tables?” Then he fired back how much he won at gambling last year, and it was a staggering amount — and probably true. But, he neglected to say how much he spent trying to win it.

I don’t feel sorry for this guy for one minute. His old parents were so wealthy and left him a bundle and he doesn’t work anymore. He was a nice, charming, good-looking guy, and great in bed when I knew him, but had no purpose beyond living to gamble.

So why am I writing you? Because I still like that crazy, fun guy and I don’t have anybody in my life right now. Should I take a chance of my own and go to Vegas one more time for the fun of being with him?

— Bored With My Life, Transcona

Dear Bored: Did you get hurt at the end of the relationship with the Gambler or did he? Or were both of you messed up? If even one person suffered emotionally, don’t go to Vegas or anywhere with him.

If you split amicably, you might gamble on a trip, as long as he agrees to plan a lot of dinners, side trips and Vegas entertainment shows, so it’s not just you playing Lady Luck and watching him gamble.

But, if you think he’s still secretly in love with you, don’t go! That would just be teasing, because you happen to be bored with your new single life. Wealthy people who gamble have feelings, too. The money and the drama of gambling doesn’t save them from the emotional pain of a relationship gone wrong.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I like to take meals to bed with me and it annoys my boyfriend. I get home late from work and he has my key and is waiting for me in bed. I’m hungry, so I fry up some food and bring it into the bed to eat, where my guy is lying back watching sports. So what does he care? I’ll share anything off my plate with him.

His big line is “I don’t want any grease in this bed!” I just continue to eat my pork chops and whatever, because I need dinner, even if it’s at 11 p.m. But last night he was drinking and in a foul mood. When I climbed into bed with my plate of food, he went to grab it from me and it slipped into the bed — vegetables, meat and all — and his beer went flying.

He said not one word. He just got up, got dressed and grabbed his car keys and went home. I have tried to contact him hundreds of times and he’s not biting. Is he punishing me for needing to eat dinner? Who’s being unreasonable here?

— Upset and Confused, Downtown

Dear Upset: Most people would eat a full course dinner in an easy chair with a little TV table at their side. Taking the whole dinner to bed and balancing it on your knees or propping it on a pillow is going too far. Your guy asked you repeatedly not to do that because it grossed him out, and you more or less called him a wuss for worrying about food and grease in the bed. Well, it happened!

Sometimes people will take as much as they can of a disgusting personal proclivity, in your case the food the food in bed, and then that’s it. They’re not coming back. Stop wearing your fingers out contacting him.

By the way, are you still eating in bed or do you eat in the living room or the kitchen now he’s gone? If the point of eating there was because you were excited to see your guy and wanted to be with him right away, then the quarrel wasn’t really about the right to be able to eat a full dinner in bed. And now, you’ve lost him. Next boyfriend? Don’t take major meals to bed. Most people would hate it, and it’s time you finally learned that lesson.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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