Look for love outside workplace

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/02/2020 (2396 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: In my job, I thought I would have no problem keeping a personal no-dating policy at work, as I’ve been single for eight years. I dated in that time, but no one had stuck. Anyway, I’ve started to crush on not one, but two of my co-workers. How can I keep them from creeping onto my love radar? Either one of them could already be dating someone. I have no idea (I have not asked). 

I guess I’m looking for a relationship, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to try one with someone from work, even if I really do like these two men. I’ve only had this job for one year, and want to stay focused at work, not distracted by a man. I don’t know what to do!

— Crushing On Two, Winnipeg

Dear Crushing: At the end of eight years without a love relationship you’re feeling loneliness, especially now you’re interacting with some interesting men. Your best bet would be to take this as a sign from the love gods and goddesses to step up your social game this spring — outside the office. Start looking for a real sweetheart of a romance this spring. 

The lesson you should take away from the double crush is this: Your body, mind and heart have had enough of being alone. Rally the troops. Call your single friends and get out there having fun and meeting people again. Set it as a goal to find a really great guy.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I read the letter signed Come From Away where you suggested a possible redistribution of a will after the mom died and left nothing to one sibling out of her six grown children. (Editor: That was the brother who spoke up and “got tough” with mom and brokered a peace in the family.)

Each of the lucky five children got a good percentage more than they would have if the sixth had been included. Those who don’t want to give up their portion can’t be made to do so. The others could/should give up their extra money, so at least the brother who got nothing would get a portion of what he would have received.

The selfish ones who give nothing to the redistribution will have to live with the guilt of their decision for the rest of their lives.

— Thinking It Over, Manitoba

Dear Thinking: The missing piece of this puzzle? No one heard the “tough” talk with the now-deceased mother. Although the brother who spoke up achieved a peace for his five siblings, it might have been a very nasty battle. 

He no doubt told her some painful home truths about herself and how she treated her kids — and how hurt and angry they felt towards her. He may have been hurtful and crude and she couldn’t forgive him, or she just resented him for making her face up. 

Even so, I agree with you that the siblings who all benefited should share with him — but only if they still can. Knowing human nature as I do, some of them may have spent their inheritances instantly, paying off loans. Or perhaps they went on a holiday to celebrate the windfall from mom — who wasn’t nice to them until near the end. 

That’s why I suggested siblings pitch in what they still could at this point, not a fixed sum. I also suggested any of the three wealthier siblings could pitch in more than their extra share if they wanted to.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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