Cheeky act calls for contrition

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/02/2020 (2347 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I bit my husband on the cheek (the one on his face) and left marks. I did it in the throes of passion! Usually I nip his shoulder and he really gets a kick out of it and it spurs him on. Nobody would know those are teeth marks, but he does, and he’s really embarrassed. 

 At work, he is blaming it on our toddler. 

He yelled at me to never do it again, and I made the mistake of laughing at him. Now he doesn’t trust me and is shying away from me in bed. This is not our usual way of relating to each other. What do I need to do to get him back to normal?

— Biting Fool, Transcona

Dear Fool: Instead of laughing in his marked-up face, you should be seriously promising, “I will never do that again! I am so sorry. I love you.” Then hopefully you can resume your passionate relationship and he can trust you will keep your biting urges at bay. Don’t even nip his shoulder, unless he trusts you again and he invites that little behaviour back. Your husband needs to feel extra safe with you in bed for now, so it’s up to him to set that pace

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a young, educated man of 27 at the beach in Mexico and we had a wonderful week together. Yes, I paid for most things as he’s still studying in Mexico and doesn’t have an income that allows for crazy holiday weeks by the ocean. He goes to college and works part-time at a bar.

I had the most wonderful holiday of my life! At the end, I gave him my address and he has written several letters declaring his warm feelings for me and wanting me to come back this winter before the season is over. One week was not enough for him — or for me! I am totally attracted — in lust, with a soft warm feeling around the heart. 

He’s going to college down there and he’s from a good family. I already have a career and he is a student. Big deal. He’s brilliant to talk to and has a future in engineering. I have seen his books and papers, and the computer at his nice little apartment. He’s not a “beach boy hustling chicks.” I met him at his evening job and I asked him out. There are about five years of age difference. 

Should I go a second time before the season is over? I can imagine what my friends will say. Please write me back fast.

—Dying To Go, Winnipeg

Dear Tempted: Life is unpredictable and so short. Why not enjoy “Round 2” of this adventure? Most people who have a romance don’t get warmly invited to come back for another wonderful week since the only feelings between them were fun and sexual attraction, and someone else can replace that. 

But you both really like each other! So consider saying yes to adventure when you have the chance and don’t go canvassing any naysaying friends for their opinions. Do let your family know your fellow’s name and address, and where you’ll be staying.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts:  I used to be a happy employee, but now I’m furious with my boss and struggling to keep the expression on my face neutral. I’ve seen he’s doing something he shouldn’t be doing. It’s not illegal but it’s not fair and right, and it keeps me awake at night. I really need this job or one similar. What should I do?

— Torn, Winnipeg

Dear Torn: Look for another job ASAP. As soon as you get one, and are safely installed at the new place, you might phone your former boss and tell him what you think of what he is doing, and don’t hold back!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography