Time to hits brakes on gravy train

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/03/2020 (2344 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My dear old mother is eating me out of house and home. She moved in with me when my dad died and there were only the two of us. Fine! Now there’s also a teenage nephew who needed to move to the city to go to college, and his parents had no money for residence. He and my mother eat a tremendous amount of food between them.

My nephew is filling out with a football type of muscled body, and my mother is turning into a round ball. I’ve asked them both to chip in $25 for the extra treats and junk food they love every time I go grocery shopping, and they look at me like I’m a cheapskate.

My mom can go through a small vat of ice cream, cookies and several frozen cakes plus non-stop coffees and soft drinks every week. My nephew, who knows how to cook from the TV, does so and I’m somewhat grateful, but he leaves notes on the fridge for expensive ingredients, spices and special utensils. I just bought home something like a blow torch to make creme brûlée.

I’ve gained 10 pounds since September, and these two locusts have gained at least 20. How do I tell them the expensive food fest is over? I can’t afford a weekly $250 food bill for three people. Help! — Not a Miser, Just Broke! Osborne Village

 

Dear Not a Miser: You may not be a miser but you’re being a stooge, and these two know it. Change!

Be the boss instead. Call a halt to this nonsense, and re-assign power and duties. The college student needs a part-time job at a restaurant, and your mom needs to start cooking while he works. Your job is to make the money for basic healthy food, utilities and rent.

“Junior Chef” should be putting in money for ingredients for fancy cooking experiments. Junk food no longer goes on the grocery bill. That’s it.

Be pleasant, but get tough.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Somebody was pushing his shopping cart really hard from the back of a short line at the grocery store… and rammed into my bottom at the front of the line.

I turned around and said, “Somebody rammed me! Who was it?” and nobody spoke up. I turned to the front again, and there was a second ram. Caught him! It was the kid at the back of the line who’d been left while his mother went to get something.

People who were in the lineup got jostled worse than I did. I looked at the culprit and, just then, his mother came back and I yelled at her about her kid. She said, “I don’t believe you. My boy is only 11, and he wouldn’t do anything like that on purpose!”

The kid looked at me with the smirk of a brat who just got away with something.

The checkout lady wanted my money fast, so I just gave up, paid and walked out. I know I did the wrong thing, but what more should I have done? — Blood Pressure Still Rising, Winnipeg

Dear Blood Pressure: If you’d demanded the store manager ASAP, instead of paying your bill, there was enough time to get somebody over who’d have power to confront the mother and kid — and, if necessary, get security to escort them out. Also, there were still witnesses, between you and the rammer, to back up your story.

It’s too bad the kid got away with it. Maybe he’s so messed up and angry his mother is afraid of him and sticks up for him.

Be glad he’s not your problem, and try to let go of your anger, as your blood pressure is more important.

 

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My daughter has wanted to ride a horse since she was about two or three and first spotted one on a farm. She yelled “Pwease stop, daddy!” and insisted we take her to the fence to see the horse. She announced very clearly: “MY HORSE.”

The horse came over and licked her little outstretched hand. Throughout her childhood, she insisted she’d “had a horse before.”

She bothered us so much about it, by the time she was three she was riding on our large dog and by five she was on ponies. Now she is an excellent rider and will have a career with horses.

Where do you think this obsession came from at such a young age? — Mystified, South Winnipeg

 

Dear Mystified: There is no way to understand devotion and “previous knowing” like this from such a tiny person, but it does happen — notably with musicians and composers, electronic geniuses and children who can absorb and memorize tons of information on a certain subject as a child, as if they knew it before.

I can’t pretend to know, except some children come into this life on Earth with a strange “knowing.” What I do know is parents are best to foster, and not to deny, or, worse still, insult the child by saying, “You couldn’t possibly know that or feel this way, at your age.” Some actually do!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.