Unique rural retreat can help build family bonds

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This article was published 11/04/2020 (2350 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My kids and I are out on the farm with my parents and they are having the time of their lives with the animals. They are helping their grandparents with little chores and getting to know their grandma, her marvellous baking and her ability to entertain kids on a farm.

She’s started teaching them basic French already and is reading to them from my old children’s picture books before bed. I know this is a tough time in the world just now, but my city kids are getting a chance to know their grandparents in a way they never would have —  the same way I experienced it when I was growing up on the farm. You should see them with the kittens and the horses! We are so lucky this is how it has worked out for us.

Their dad is in the city — bored, but safe and working remotely from home. Luckily, he’s still employed and we can see him via Skype. I wish everyone well in the city too.

— Lucky Landing at the Farm, Southeastern Manitoba

Dear Lucky: It’s a unique experience for your kids — and a memory that will last forever. I’m sure you miss your husband and he misses you. There are lots of things people can do in the city that don’t involve groups, so maybe you could help him jot down a list to help.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m surprised at your response to Feeling Rejected and Alone. (She says her young husband is isolating himself from her and will not sleep with her, or go for a car ride. He telephones from the next room. I told her to be patient with him for now, as he’s freaking out due to the warnings around COVID-19. — Miss L.)

Married couples do not abandon one another when stressed. This jerk would throttle his wife to get a place on the lifeboat. This young lady (in her 20s) should be planning an early exit from a one-sided relationship that will only lead to unending hurt.

— Worried for the Young Wife, Winnipeg

Dear Worried: A possible breakup for this young married couple is not going to help them right now. She was not asking me about breaking up and I don’t believe he’d do anything horrible like throttling her to get to safety! She just wanted to know how to cope with her scared young husband who is freaking out.

I suggested she be patient in these first weeks and chat with him on the phone all he likes from separate rooms in the house. Let him calm down and get normalized. Once he’s calmer, getting out of the house for walks and drives can help to normalize things for them.

She can explain to him that younger people, with no pre-existing medical conditions, are safer than most. Should the young man continue to be terrified, they should consult their doctor together for a discussion, and perhaps something to calm him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a terrible singer — the worst — but somebody convinced her she’s good enough for karaoke online. Now she’s practising every day and I find it unbearable. I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I have had to ask her to close the door when she practises — pretending I’m working on my own writing project and need total quiet for it.

I don’t know how to tell her she’s wasting her time caterwauling along with YouTube — and now she’s gotten hold of a microphone which she loves.

Please help. I want to break it to her gently that she should stop practising and ditch her plans to go online where she will only get laughed at!

— Aching Ears, But Love My Wife, St. Vital

Dear Aching Ears: You need earphones to block her out and the willpower to keep your nasty descriptions of her singing to yourself. Someone else is bound to tell her online, if and when she goes public.

Let them do it, not you — the person who could hurt her the most. It’s your job to comfort her when it happens. If she’s as bad at singing as you say, it will happen because people can insult others anonymously online.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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