Apologize to snubbed stylist, deal with ex properly

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This article was published 06/07/2020 (2243 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I went for a haircut finally, at my favourite unisex salon, and the person getting a cut in the next chair, who looked up for a second, was my most recent live-in ex-boyfriend.

That rat owes me $500 and won’t pay up. We parted on very bad terms. I can’t repeat the names he called me when I demanded the money he owed me for back-rent and food.

I made a wisecrack to his hairdresser that what he really needed was a “radical buzz cut including the ears.”

That got his attention, and he looked sideways at me and sneered, “Oh it’s yewww!” like he was looking at a dangling worm.

I whispered in my stylist’s ear, “Can we change chairs in a hurry? That’s my ex and he can get violent.” But, she said, “Sorry, they belong to other stylists and I can’t do that.”

I got up and left. I stopped off at my mom’s hairdresser near my house and she gave me an even-up-the-sides cut, which I hate. I want my regular wild haircut back. I know I didn’t handle it well, but even now I don’t know what I should have done. I want to go back there to my regular stylist, but I may have blown it for good.

— Messy Salon Experience, North End

Dear Messy: Phone the salon, ask for your stylist and explain the situation fully. Promise to bring her the money for your last haircut and tell her you’ll get a full haircut this time — with a big tip. Tell her the name of your ex, and leave your number, to lessen the chance of being booked together again.

The salon stylist may still tell you not to come back because of your last performance — but that’s not such a calamity. Another salon can handle your preferred cut from a magazine photo, an old photo of you or even a pencil sketch.

As for the money he owes you, have a lawyer write a letter to your ex about the money owed, explaining you’re willing to “take the matter further” if he doesn’t pay up. The phrase “court case” will be implied.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife cut my house allowance as a stay-at-home dad because she’s making less at work in the last few months. I understand that.

Then I found out, through the husband of a friend of mine, that my wife and his wife are going on a road trip this summer — just the two of them! She hasn’t mentioned this to me. I will be left at home with the kids (as usual) and she’ll be off gallivanting around Alberta and visiting her aging parents.

I approached her about her secret summer trip, and she blushed to her ears. Guilty! She has been taking me for granted, now she’s had a house husband like no other. I cook, bake, clean and am fantastic with the kids. She’s a career woman and not that involved.

What she doesn’t realize is her dishonesty is opening a door for me. There are a number of women around home who flirt with me. I have one who phones me for advice on her teenage son, and another who likes to share gardening tips with me shoulder to shoulder in the flowerbed. Those are her moves, not mine, and there are a lot of innuendos.

So, I told my wife she’d best think twice about leaving me alone while she takes off with her “pal.” I don’t know if there’s any sexual attraction there, but this pal is with her way too much, and they call each other “Sweetie” and “Darling.” I’m not a suspicious or jealous guy, but something smells fishy.

My question? Should I give her enough rope to hang herself, or should I warn her of that possibility before she goes? I might not be taking her back in when she finally arrives back. I will have my old job back — I actually phoned my buddy who owns the company I used to work for.

— Seriously Upset, Winnipeg

Dear Upset: Warn her right now. Say, “Don’t go! There are kids’ lives and futures at stake, not just our marriage.” This sounds like a pleasure cruise for the two girlfriends, plus visiting the folks and others, and having fun — just the two of them. Sounds cosy.

Why have they been hiding their trip so far? I’m guessing there may be something more and they know you won’t be happy.

Kick up a fuss and warn your wife she’s not the only one with the right to a private life — if that’s the way things are going. Tell her if you end up looking after the children while she goes off with her close friend that the landscape will be quite different when she gets back.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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