Risk a rift; brother knows he’s flouting cottage pact

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: We were supposed to take turns at the lake this summer, but every time my family has their turn, my brother and his family show up on Saturday, staying until late Sunday evening  — as if they have done something wonderful for us, providing their company!

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/07/2020 (2206 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: We were supposed to take turns at the lake this summer, but every time my family has their turn, my brother and his family show up on Saturday, staying until late Sunday evening  — as if they have done something wonderful for us, providing their company!

We have three kids and friends from my work on the lake to visit, and that’s enough. We don’t come up on their weekends, as we respect their privacy.

If I tell my brother we want our weekends at the lake to ourselves he will take great offence and there will be a rift. Please help.

Annoyed Brother, Transcona

Dear Annoyed Bro: You need to review the agreement you made about alternating weekends and let him know he’s cheating on the deal. Tell him your wife and kids need the rest of your weekends all to yourselves.

He knows he’s in the wrong. Unless he’s a real hothead, it won’t be much of a rift because he knows exactly what the deal was, and he hasn’t been sticking to it.

Let him know it’s not cool to show up on the Saturdays of your weekends anymore this season and let him be a little huffy for awhile.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in response to Cool Wind Blowing — the annoyed girlfriend of a strong swimmer who refuses to use a life jacket in his boat. Now she has refused to go to the lake with him.

He totally misses the point of a life jacket (actually called a personal flotation device or PFD). Neither the boat’s speed nor his swimming ability have anything to do with the need to wear a PFD.

A properly worn PFD keeps the wearer at the surface of the water, face-up, should the person fall out of the boat for any reason. Even a strong swimmer can sustain a head injury and lose consciousness. Without a PFD in that case, survival chances are greatly reduced. It is required by Manitoba law for each person in a boat.

So, I’m with the girlfriend. If he doesn’t care about his own safety, he is being reckless and foolish, and shows a lack of caring. She needs to run (or swim) in the opposite direction.

Also a Strong Swimmer, But No Fool, Manitoba

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In response to Cool Wind Blowing, It doesn’t matter if you’re a strong swimmer if it turns out you are injured or the water is cold. Life jackets save lives and many strong swimmers die because something unexpected happens.

— B.M., Winnipeg 

Dear B.M.: It’s always a shock to me that people who have driven boats all their lives invite guests on board and then model unsafe behaviour to the other adults and kids by not wearing a life jacket or carelessly throwing a few out to those who might want one. Wear the life jacket, people! You don’t want to die or watch someone else die.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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History

Updated on Friday, July 31, 2020 5:47 AM CDT: Adds links

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Risk a rift; brother knows he’s flouting cottage pact

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: We were supposed to take turns at the lake this summer, but every time my family has their turn, my brother and his family show up on Saturday, staying until late Sunday evening  — as if they have done something wonderful for us, providing their company!

We have three kids and friends from my work on the lake to visit, and that’s enough. We don’t come up on their weekends, as we respect their privacy.

If I tell my brother we want our weekends at the lake to ourselves he will take great offence and there will be a rift. Please help.

— Annoyed Brother, Transcona

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