Don’t settle for selfish second-chance offers

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This article was published 11/08/2020 (2197 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Through Facebook, I have heard from two old girlfriends since this COVID-19 thing has been happening. They are trying to reconnect with me. I’m a “nice guy” but not exciting enough for most women I’ve dated.

I’m close to 40 and I haven’t changed — certainly not any more exciting — but I have progressed with my business and have some money and a house now.

Miss L., single woman have “trust” at the top of their list, all of a sudden. I could get back with one or two of them for sure. I’m lonely and tempted by the sex, but they rejected me in the past. — Second String? Selkirk

Dear Second String: So, how would you like to take the position of fill-in boyfriend/sex partner and then get dumped again — by one or both of these women? It would hurt, just like the first time.

You’re better off alone than with any woman who has spurned you. COVID-19 doesn’t mean you can’t meet new people and have socially-distanced dates until you find a happy win-win situation and become a couple in a “true-to-you” bubble.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve got an urgent problem to solve about my granddaughter in the next few weeks. She’s here for the summer to stay with grandpa and me on the farm, and she doesn’t want to go back to her parents.

We don’t blame her! She says they’re always fighting. Dad gets drunk, mom cries, and the child spends her whole time doing chores on their farm.

She says they love her brother and sister, but they don’t love her because she was a “mistake.” She heard this during one of her parents’ fights.

Last night she told me through her tears she also found out that daddy isn’t her real daddy.

Her grandfather and I are relatively young for grandparents and would love to keep her with us permanently, but don’t know how to approach my daughter and her husband. Maybe it would be a relief, or maybe they’d be offended. They haven’t visited her once so far this summer.

My granddaughter has some health problems and the doctor here has been very good for her, as is her calm and happy life with us. We love her very much. We certainly have enough money to look after her. — Wanting Her To Stay, Southern Manitoba

Dear Wanting: If your granddaughter was conceived with another man, and her mom’s husband has no use for the little girl, except to make her work on the farm, it might be best for everybody concerned if she re-nests with you.

Asking about it will be tricky. Her mom may be more attached, but it’s interesting she hasn’t come to visit once. If you point the finger of blame at either of her parents, they may insist she come back to live at their house, for pride’s sake.

Could you tell them about having this great doctor nearby and how well she is doing health-wise? Ask your daughter very nicely if your grandchild could stay on after the summer and be near to that particular doctor. Also say you’d be happy to pay for all expenses.

This would not put the blame on the parents, and they just might be OK with it and let her stay — for her health. Make it clear you aren’t looking for any money for the child being with you — for school, clothes or anything she needs. You’d just consider it a privilege to have her stay with you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing to say that the “naturist” (or nudist) who wrote you, should tone it down a bit. (She invited a friend to move in and didn’t warn her she was a nudist and now she’s suggesting the shocked girl stay in her bedroom. The new apartment mate is paying rent, even though it’s less, for the smaller bedroom).

She deserves consideration! Compromise is needed with the air conditioning too — she should have some say in the temperature of her living space. Also, does the renter not have any access to the kitchen or relaxing in the living room now? I sure wouldn’t want to sit somewhere with body sweat all over the place! — Been a Co-Renter, Manitoba

Dear Been a Co-Renter: These unhappy co-renters need to part ASAP — there’s no way round it. There’s simply no excuse for not telling a possible new roommate you will be walking around nude in the apartment.

Two nudists or “naturists” could possibly make a plan to live together compatibly. But this woman was taken by surprise, and deserves her money back so she can get a different place. She was not forewarned and that’s simply inexcusable.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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