Right choice to take publicly violent mom to task

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This article was published 01/09/2020 (2175 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got into a fight at the grocery store last week with a woman who was repeatedly whacking her kids hard across the head when they disobeyed her. The kids were crying loudly.

I stepped in and told her she could be physically damaging their brains and that she was screwing them up emotionally. She called me all kinds of filthy names in the store.

I followed her out and copied down her licence plate and she continued screaming at me as she peeled out. Now what? — Kind, Responsible Parent, Winnipeg

Dear Kind, Responsible Parent: Good for you for getting the licence plate! Now you call the non-emergency police and Child and Family Services, with full descriptions of the “guardian” of these children, supplying any names you might have overheard.

She might not be the owner of the vehicle; it could be the husband or boyfriend’s, or her mother’s, if it’s not hers.

You should also contact the store management who allowed this to happen under their roof.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a boyfriend, who also has a boyfriend. He told me right off the top he was “casually” bisexual. Meaning what? He told me it means he has a guy he sees here and there, and yet his great preference is for women.

I asked him if this guy was also dating other men, and he said, “No, he has a steady girlfriend, and he and I just see one another every once in awhile.”

I decided he was an honest person, and, being open-minded, decided I’d give it a try. Until this weekend I could have described our relationship as “happy and unremarkable.”

We see each other all the time and he’s great to me — and a very good lover. But he also sees this guy discreetly. I never know when, and it never runs into our plans, so I could kind of deny it’s happening.

Then last night I had a kind of epiphany. I asked him if he saw a marriage and kids in his future, because I do. He said very quickly, as if it should have been obvious, “Well, no! Not given my sexual nature.”

What was that supposed to mean? I was afraid to ask.

Today, I feel more alone than I have ever felt in my life. I thought I had a good relationship going and now I see nothingness. Please help me. — Totally Mixed Up,  Fort Rouge  

Dear Mixed Up: Your bisexual lover has played down the importance — and likely the frequency — of seeing the man in his other relationship. And he refers to bisexuality as “his nature” not just experimentation. Plus, you know there is no future for you as a married couple with a family. Not happening! And you want that.

No wonder you feel a nothingness! You are back at Square 1 in your love life. Take heart! It happens to most people at some point or another.

What’s good about it is you finally know the score. And what is it? This guy is enjoying your company and your sexuality while not feeling guilty, because he was honest enough to tell you about his other lover.

The Big Question: why did that not count? Probably because you underrated it — seeing as it was just a man. Would you have agreed to be lovers with a guy who said he also has another girlfriend that he sees regularly?

Gay and bisexual lovers count. They are real people with the full range of feelings for their lovers, and you can bet your own man has real feelings for his male lover.

The bottom line is you’re free now (hopefully) and you know clearly you want a husband and kids.

Actually, this is a good place to be. Now you fully realize you’re looking for a husband, lover and father to your future babies. No more messing around with people who are temporary from the start!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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