There’s no room for ribaldry on work Zoom

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/11/2020 (1789 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My co-worker and I have had a flirty workplace relationship. Nothing more — just mutual innocent flirting, or so I thought. We’re both happily married. Our partners have even joked about us being a “workplace husband-and-wife.”

Now with COVID-19, we have been working from home and having mostly Zoom meetings. I was always the one with the naughty joke at the end of a virtual meeting. He’s never had one that could beat mine.

Our last meeting, with just the two of us, caught me totally off-guard. I told my goodbye joke and he got up from his chair in his shirt and suit jacket — and walked away in his bare behind. He made a rude hand signal behind his back, and he was laughing. I quickly closed my computer. Not amused.

Plus, I felt a bit guilty, because I started the dirty joke thing at the end of sessions. I haven’t been able to speak comfortably with him, except for serious business questions, since this awkward incident.

So now what do we do to get things back to a comfortable situation? We are both good team workers and friends, but flashing me was wrong in so many ways.

— Embarrassing Situation, east Winnipeg

Dear Embarrassing: You’re both at fault, so start your all-important phone conversation — nothing on paper or online — saying: “We need to talk. Go somewhere you won’t be heard.” Then you say: “Flashing me crossed the line and it was a mistake.” Apologize for your ribald jokes at the ends of meetings with him. It’s likely the flashing move was his attempt to finally best you. Ask how he thought you would respond when he did that — or did he even think ahead?

Then talk about a new way to relate and cut out the raunchy jokes and behaviour, since this really didn’t work out well. You can still be humorous, but not crude.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went downtown to give some shops some business before the second big lockdown and when I was shopping I ran into the love of my life from high school days, and she had her kids with her. I’m in my early 30s and still single, and she’s already divorced with two kids. She jokingly said “I guess I never got over you!”

That’s no joke. It took me years to get over her. Now I don’t know if I should call her or not. She was probably trying to make light of things, since she dumped me for getting too serious, too young.

— Tempted, St. Boniface

Dear Tempted: Why not get in touch, but don’t waste a lot of time dancing around. Ask her if she meant what she said about not getting over you. If she says, “I meant it,” then this might be a second chance. Life is short; it’s worth trying.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography