Be tactful in addressing vocally passionate mom

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This article was published 09/01/2021 (2103 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother seems to have forgotten she’s a mother!

I am 19, living at home with my divorced mom, who is 38. She found out last year I’m sexually active with my steady boyfriend, and was not happy, but she acted decent about it and he’s stayed over sometimes.

Now Mom has found a boyfriend for herself, and has started bringing him home. As it turns out, my mother is — how can I put this? — very audible. You can hear her all the way from upstairs down to the basement where I have my bedroom and bathroom.

I was shocked. I had no idea my mother would start embarrassing me.

My guy actually thought it was hilarious when he first heard her, and just kept shaking his head and smirking whenever he thought of it later.

I don’t know what to do! I have always been quiet and discreet myself. I just can’t find the words to tell my mom to “keep it down!” with the boyfriend in her bedroom. — Embarrassed By Mom, Transcona

Dear Embarrassed: You have to bring this touchy situation up with your mother. If you can’t do it face-to-face, write Mom a note, put it in an envelope and pin it to her pillow.

Don’t write anything worse than you would say to her face-to-face. Just let her know you and your boyfriend can hear her when her guy sleeps over and they’re making love.

Some people get carried away during sex, and literally can’t hear themselves. Mom won’t be doing this on purpose to embarrass you, and will either pipe down or start staying at the new boyfriend’s house more often.

At 19, no doubt you and your boyfriend can handle having the house to yourselves some nights.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Before Christmas, the word COVID was in the conversation almost all the time. As a father of three teenagers, I want to change that in this new year, but don’t know how to steer away from that topic more, particularly at home.

Every conversation shouldn’t connect to COVID in the end. As a family, we know how to deal with protecting ourselves from the virus, and we’re doing just that.

So how do I shut people up nicely, particularly at the dinner table, where it’s hard on my appetite? — No More COVID, COVID, COVID, Tuxedo

Dear COVID: When you stop someone from going on about COVID, you should bring up an interesting new topic. If you don’t do that, the person you’ve shushed will feel shamed and there’ll be an awkward silence.

Come to the table armed with some other interesting topics of conversation from the news and the neighbourhood.

By bringing up new topics, you can get out of a conversational ditch and back on the road heading in a different direction.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a young driver and I accidentally bumped my the fender of my parents’ new car and it has a tiny dent in it, which I keep trying to cover with snow.

I haven’t brought it up because no one has noticed it, and I don’t want to lose my driving privileges.

My younger sister was with me and she’s been threatening to tell on me. What should I do now? — Hiding the Dent, Fort Richmond

Dear Hiding the Dent: Tell the truth and do it in a hurry. With each day you procrastinate, you lose more points with your mom and dad.

They may have already noticed and are waiting for you to confess. So, apologize like crazy, and don’t lie about the date it happened.

You’re losing more and more trust, the longer you keep this quiet. Plus, your sister is just waiting for the parents to notice, and she might blow at any moment!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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