Limits could be a blessing as you give game a go

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/02/2021 (2053 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m someone who got married very young and have recently divorced. I’m in my early 30s and I have to say, what a weird feeling! I got married at 20 to a guy I really loved. We were both from religious families and it seemed like the right thing to do.

In recent years he got into drinking and drugs, and dropped his faith. Then he told me I was acting “holier than thou” and he wouldn’t have me going to church anymore.

Without going into too much detail, I walked away and went with my faith, and we’re no longer together.

The strangest part is the idea of dating now! I never really dated before 16 when I met the guy, though I was blessed with “looks.” I still have ties to my hometown, and word gets out.

I have a few guys who liked me back in high school messaging me on social media now, and I just feel a bit overwhelmed.

What’s the best way to go about this? I feel like a kid again. I am kind of excited but…

— Scared to Mingle, North Kildonan

Dear Scared: You have all the time in the world to explore now, unlike high school where you found a special guy off the hop and married him.

So, take it slowly this time and befriend guys. Let them know that’s all you’re looking for right now. It’s not a safe time to be dating with COVID around, and very few people are vaccinated.

That’s a good thing in your case — the perfect excuse to make some really nice male friends. Talk to them on the phone and online where it’s safe. Enjoy getting to know the different personalities of a number of people, and be fearless in your questions and topics. Maybe you will find a few people of your faith, who actually like to go to church, and that will be a bonus when you start dating.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I think you may have missed a clue when addressing Disappointed and Snubbed (the young woman who chatted up a guy up from her apartment block who gave her his number).

She said she’d had quite a few drinks when she called him later that night. It’s possible her drunk-dialling was a bit of a turn-off. The conversation may not have been as stimulating for him, hearing a tipsy woman who could have been sharing a bit too much.

She may need to call him when she’s sober to apologize for that. Then leave it alone. If he is willing later, he may come around, but she shouldn’t count on it.

— My Thoughts, Manitoba

Dear Thoughts: You make a good point. Drunk-dialling is not attractive to most people. The inebriated one often feels quite daring, ever-so-funny and — this is the worst part — confessional. Nobody wants to hear a new person’s drunken history.

Disappointed and Snubbed will see him again fairly soon. Though he’s made himself scarce since, he’ll get tired of using the stairs to avoid her. She’d be best to cool it, and never ask him why he’s not interested. There isn’t enough history between them to ask about a little flirtation gone wrong — a total of a few hours. Best to just let that go!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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