Find right work-play balance in bedroom

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/02/2021 (2016 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife has turned into an animal since we’ve gotten so far into COVID times. She says it makes her feel “so alive!” I disagree. I feel dead, as in “dead tired.”

To be fair, I like a couple of our new sex “scenes,” but quite a few I don’t. If there’s a costume involved, forget it — too much work for this country boy.

My wife has a good job and (smart girl) she’s not asking me to chip in a dime. This is totally her thing. I got suspicious the other day and asked her if she was writing a book, and she said, “No, but maybe that’s not a bad idea, ha, ha, ha!”

Things are always arriving in our mail. I’m starting to get tired of this. I’d just like some comfortable, predictable missionary sex on a cold winter night, and then a big long sleep. Help!

— Urban Cowboy, Brandon

Dear Cowboy: Are you bragging or complaining? If it’s a little of both, don’t insult or try to shame your wife to slow her down, or she may stop all together. Just tell her you need “a little time to rest up” with some missionary-style sex, and then you’ll be ready to experiment again. You might actually find you get sick of regular sex pretty quickly, now you know what else could be on the menu.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This cute guy I’ve seen around my apartment block ended up with me in the lobby a few weeks ago. I was waiting for my Chinese food delivery, and he had a cab coming. We started talking — masks on, two sofas — and it ended up we knew some of each other’s friends — typical Winnipeg. He had beautiful green eyes looking at me over that mask and thick, longish brown hair.

Now, in normal times I would have invited him up for coffee the next day, but here we were, in a pandemic. As I was leaving, he said, “Wait!” and scribbled down his phone number for me. I just said, like a dork, “Uh, nice meeting you. Hope we run into each other again.” I ate my food and then went for drinks at a friend’s house.

When I came home and got inside the elevator, I was very aware I’d be sleeping under the same general roof as green eyes! That idea was turning me on — and I’d had quite a few drinks — so I dialled his number, and he was already at home. We talked for a whole hour — but he didn’t invite me up.

Then I said, “You call me next time, OK?” And he said, “Well, that might not be a good idea,” and I said, “Why not?” He said, “Because of timing and a few things, nothing personal.”

I haven’t seen him since, not even once! Talk about an abrupt ending to a flirtation. He’s the one who gave me his phone number! What’s with that?

— Disappointed and Snubbed, St. Vital

Dear Disappointed: He didn’t snub you. He might have been referring to bad COVID timing, and a risk you shouldn’t be taking. Or, he and a girlfriend (or boyfriend) were not getting along the night you met him. He was more than happy to talk to you before, and after, but didn’t want it to go further.

The good thing was he didn’t file you under “platonic friend.” Things can change, vaccines will be coming. People break up, get over it and go hunting again. If he reappears and acts flirty and friendly, ask him outright if he’s single now, and see what he says. You’ll decide your next move from there. But, be careful!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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