Pizza-fixated man-child needs to grow up

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/03/2021 (1978 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My young husband is a pizza maniac — he loves delivery or homemade, and daily!

This week he hit rock bottom when I made a beautiful three-course dinner and the jerk ordered in a pizza “to go with it.” It arrived about 10 minutes before my dinner.

I lost it. I ran to the bathroom and cried. I let him bang on the door until he finally gave up. I didn’t want to look at his face, so got my clothes on, grabbed my keys and drove away.

Miss L., I apparently married a 28-year-old teenager a year ago! We don’t have babies because he isn’t ready, and I’m 32. Do I love him? I don’t know. He’s so immature I can’t believe I didn’t notice before. I do his washing and cook our meals. I suppose I love him, but I just hate the sight of him right now! Do we need professional help?

— Losing Love Fast, Westwood

Dear Losing Love: Yes, this serious loss of feelings in a new marriage might be helped by a trained counsellor. Time for this baby to grow up! He won’t do it with you pushing him, because he’s used to rebelling against his real mother. It’s shocking how quickly romantic love can disappear when you suddenly realize you are your man’s new mommy.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 42 and single. I met a beautiful woman through my work who really intrigues me. We met online through our two businesses, and the sizzle was there, from the first minute. We always find excuses to talk to each other about the goods I ship her for her business, when it’s clear there’s no need to explain anything.

She lives in Toronto, so there’s the problem right there. Is it even worth pursuing this? I tell myself I’m going to stop talking to her online and by phone (that sexy voice!) and I can’t seem to make my resolutions stick.

—Throw Me a Lifeline, North Kildonan

Dear Throw Me: Your mutual attraction is keeping you close, against all odds. Why try to kill those strong feelings off prematurely? Be positive! In a few months you will both likely have your vaccinations and be able to meet each other in person.

When you finally get together in the flesh, one of three things will likely happen. There could be real mutual attraction and you’ll keep flying to visit each other, whenever possible. It could also be the case that only one of you will really feel it, and the whole thing will fizzle. Finally, you may both just feel a friendly warmth, but not passion, and remain good business pals. Hang in there!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I slapped my best friend because she called me “a dirty ho.” She deserved it, so I gave her a little tap to warn her — and she almost knocked my head off!

OK, that fight is over. But now I don’t know what to do. I miss my friend, though she’s more violent than me. I don’t trust her the same. She says I should understand she was “just kidding.” She wasn’t — no way!

I don’t have a steady boyfriend and often have nothing to eat, so I may sometimes not have the best judgment when it comes to hooking up with people. I have a place to live with my sister, but no job, and I just hate going to one of those charity places for food.

My friend can always get looked after by her boyfriend, who has a regular job. She’s apologized, and is trying to talk to me, but she really hurt my face, my neck and worst of all, my feelings.

All I did was warn her off with a little slap. Why did she beat on me? She was my friend.

— Shocked and Hurting, Downtown

Dear Shocked: Did you think she’d take a slap to the face and then say she was sorry? Most people respond to a slap with a split-second return of a harder blow. They try to win the fight or stop it cold. There’s not much thinking involved — they just react.

The good news is this: Your friend really wants to talk. This friendship can be saved if you sit and talk seriously about that fight and your life. You must agree to some rules, like no more violence. That also includes name-calling, which cuts to the bone.

You must also respect each other’s feelings as human beings. Maybe you could tell this friend when you’re down to having almost no money, and she might be happy to help you out if she can.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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