Exhibitionist may not be right fit for you

Advertisement

Advertise with us

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend has a body that just won’t quit, and she loves to show it off at the beach.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/07/2021 (1913 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend has a body that just won’t quit, and she loves to show it off at the beach.

I’m OK with the bikini, no matter how skimpy it is, but I balk at topless. Last weekend at a big public beach, she whipped off her top with the umbrella behind her, sitting up topless for a while (not a big problem for me).

But then, she stood up and walked topless down the beach into the water! Granted she walked straight out, and ducked down when she finally turned around. Still, there were two guys waiting with their cameras when she finally walked out of the water. It was quite a sight and people were yapping.

I walked towards her with a towel, and she pushed me off. Obviously, she wanted to show off “the girls.” I was red-faced and furious. I don’t want this happening again at the beach.

She says I’m uptight and possessive. What do you think?

— Shocked Boyfriend, Fort Rouge

Dear Shocked: It’s time you two went to a private beach or a clothing-optional area on the east side of Lake Winnipeg. (No doubt she’ll know where.) Or, she could go back to a public beach with a girlfriend, who also likes to strut her stuff in public, and they can take their chances with alerting the beach patrol.

Don’t make this your problem. She’s a new girlfriend in your life and might not be the best match for you.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend may be an idiot in some people’s eyes, but he’s my idiot and I love him.

Last weekend he went camping with his best buddy. My poor guy came home covered in bug bites. He had to go straight to the drug store after dropping his friend off. I spread the anti-itch lotion on him, and told him how sorry I was he got so bitten.

He confessed it happened because he got a little drunk and wanted to sleep under the stars and really see them “in all their glory.“ His buddy called him a fool, and slept in his own little tent and only got a couple bites all weekend.

I knew, as I was putting the bite stuff on my love, I’d one day marry this man. His romantic nature touches me. With him and me, it’s like having a bestie you can tell anything, no matter if you look or sound foolish — plus he’s a great lover, verbally and physically.

Up to now, I’ve been dragging my feet about making a marriage commitment before 25, but I suddenly realized I want to love and care for this special man for the rest of my life.

— Loving Mr. Itchy, North Kildonan

Dear Loving Mr. Itchy: You have a sweet, nurturing side and appreciate you man’s romantic nature. He enjoys your understanding — and no doubt the way you soothed his bitten skin without criticizing and laughing at him.

The romantic/nurturing match can make for a very close marriage — and it’s good for any children and pets you may have. Congratulations, in advance!

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just want to offer a few words to “Merry Widow,” the woman in her 60s whose beach date said, “Do you know your legs jiggle at the back?” Bravo to her for rising above what was said and for having the confidence to tell him they were going home ASAP. She sounds like a friend we’d all like to have!

— Cheering for Her, Winnipeg

Dear Cheering: Much of that spunky widow’s confidence came from her “heavenly husband” who would never let her criticize her own body, but would shush her and say: “I love every cell of your body.” He left a beautiful legacy.

More couples should give their earthly mates and their bodies total uncritical love and loyalty. It’d free a couple to be uninhibited and affectionate with each other, forever.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

History

Updated on Tuesday, July 6, 2021 6:33 AM CDT: Adds link

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Ferraro gets call-up to the Jets

Mike McIntyre 5 minute read Preview

Ferraro gets call-up to the Jets

Mike McIntyre 5 minute read Updated: Yesterday at 6:56 PM CDT

Landon Ferraro vividly recalls the moment his NHL career came to an extremely painful end — Oct. 20, 2017, in downtown Winnipeg.

“My last play was a breakaway on Connor Hellebuyck,” Ferraro told the Free Press this week.

“I tried to poke the puck past the first D. It was me and (Dustin) Byfuglien chasing it down. I thought he was going to throw me across the ice, so I tried to cut in on him, and he moved. I overextended, and I literally ripped my abductor off the bone and gave myself a hernia.”

Ferraro — at the time playing forward for the visiting Minnesota Wild — said he managed to get off a weak shot that hit the Jets goaltender square in the chest. But his 77th appearance in the big leagues would be his last following previous stops with Detroit (which drafted him 32nd overall in 2009) and Boston.

Read
Updated: Yesterday at 6:56 PM CDT

Winnipeg Book Festival starts a new chapter

Ben Sigurdson 4 minute read Preview

Winnipeg Book Festival starts a new chapter

Ben Sigurdson 4 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

Once known as Thin Air, the 2026 Winnipeg Book Festival marks a new chapter heading into its 29th year celebrating fiction, non-fiction and poetry with a new name, new staff and a shorter, more streamlined fest based at The Forks.

Read
2:01 AM CDT

Winnipeg’s challenge: preparing for weather extremes

Adam Johnston 5 minute read Preview

Winnipeg’s challenge: preparing for weather extremes

Adam Johnston 5 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

A new United Nations report warns the world will exceed the 1.5 C Paris limit by 2030.

Read
2:00 AM CDT

What’s up

5 minute read Preview

What’s up

5 minute read Updated: 8:22 AM CDT

Connection: Recent Work from Artist Moms 2.0Community Art Gallery at the Pavilion, Assiniboine Park, 55 Pavilion Cres.Artist talk Saturday, 2 p.m.FreeWhat does it mean to mother in a time of global, social and environmental uncertainty? What does it mean to be the village?

This group exhibition featuring 20 Winnipeg artist mothers affiliated with Mentoring Artists for Women’s Art connects the individual experiences of motherhood with broader concerns, exploring themes of memory, nostalgia, grief, loss and care through embroidery, painting, printmaking, poetry, sculpture, installation and mixed media.

“My work is both personal and political, concerned not only with our responsibilities to our own families but also with what it means to be a caregiver in a world threatened by greed, violence and environmental harm,” said artist and group organizer Allison Moore in a release.

The gallery will host a series of artist talks on Saturdays, Oct. 3, 17 and 24, from 2 to 4 p.m. Connection is on view until Nov. 22.

Read
Updated: 8:22 AM CDT

Who has been invited to the table?

Stephen Borys 6 minute read Preview

Who has been invited to the table?

Stephen Borys 6 minute read 2:01 AM CDT

Last Friday, I spoke at Booth University College’s inaugural Honour and Hope Harvest Dinner in support of Shelter U. I had been asked to speak about the power of art in the community, a subject I have spent much of my professional life thinking about — as a museum director, writer and teacher, and now through my consulting work with Civic Muse.

What continues to interest me is not simply what museums, universities and other public institutions do, but whether their work actually matters — whether they make a difference in the lives of the people and communities around them.

Preparing for the evening brought me back to an even more fundamental question: Who has been invited in?

One of my museum mentors used to remind me that institutions often begin the conversation about public engagement too late. Before engagement comes the welcome, and before the welcome comes the invitation. We can create extraordinary buildings, exhibitions and programs and say that everyone is welcome. But unless people believe that these places are also meant for them, many will never cross the threshold.

Read
2:01 AM CDT

Netminder no stranger to heavy workload as Jets new No. 1 readies for regular-season start

Ken Wiebe 7 minute read Preview

Netminder no stranger to heavy workload as Jets new No. 1 readies for regular-season start

Ken Wiebe 7 minute read Yesterday at 2:42 PM CDT

Stuart Skinner is quick to admit that he wasn’t always wired this way.

As the Winnipeg Jets new starting goalie prepares for his fifth NHL season, Skinner conceded that the accountability aspect that is now synonymous with his character took some time to build up.

“As I grew up and got older, you go through certain things in life that either build character or make things worse for you. It depends on your choice and your decision,” Skinner said during a recent conversation with the Free Press. “I learned it through trial and error. I learned that, sometimes, it’s hard to get honest with yourself… For me, it’s definitely been a road for me to get to a place like this.

“It definitely is one of my pillars. Accountability is so important because that brings you into a spot of what you’re going to do next. It’s easy to let yourself off the hook. I’m more in the business of putting myself on the hook.”

Read
Yesterday at 2:42 PM CDT