Exhibitionist may not be right fit for you

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This article was published 06/07/2021 (1864 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend has a body that just won’t quit, and she loves to show it off at the beach.

I’m OK with the bikini, no matter how skimpy it is, but I balk at topless. Last weekend at a big public beach, she whipped off her top with the umbrella behind her, sitting up topless for a while (not a big problem for me).

But then, she stood up and walked topless down the beach into the water! Granted she walked straight out, and ducked down when she finally turned around. Still, there were two guys waiting with their cameras when she finally walked out of the water. It was quite a sight and people were yapping.

I walked towards her with a towel, and she pushed me off. Obviously, she wanted to show off “the girls.” I was red-faced and furious. I don’t want this happening again at the beach.

She says I’m uptight and possessive. What do you think?

— Shocked Boyfriend, Fort Rouge

Dear Shocked: It’s time you two went to a private beach or a clothing-optional area on the east side of Lake Winnipeg. (No doubt she’ll know where.) Or, she could go back to a public beach with a girlfriend, who also likes to strut her stuff in public, and they can take their chances with alerting the beach patrol.

Don’t make this your problem. She’s a new girlfriend in your life and might not be the best match for you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend may be an idiot in some people’s eyes, but he’s my idiot and I love him.

Last weekend he went camping with his best buddy. My poor guy came home covered in bug bites. He had to go straight to the drug store after dropping his friend off. I spread the anti-itch lotion on him, and told him how sorry I was he got so bitten.

He confessed it happened because he got a little drunk and wanted to sleep under the stars and really see them “in all their glory.“ His buddy called him a fool, and slept in his own little tent and only got a couple bites all weekend.

I knew, as I was putting the bite stuff on my love, I’d one day marry this man. His romantic nature touches me. With him and me, it’s like having a bestie you can tell anything, no matter if you look or sound foolish — plus he’s a great lover, verbally and physically.

Up to now, I’ve been dragging my feet about making a marriage commitment before 25, but I suddenly realized I want to love and care for this special man for the rest of my life.

— Loving Mr. Itchy, North Kildonan

Dear Loving Mr. Itchy: You have a sweet, nurturing side and appreciate you man’s romantic nature. He enjoys your understanding — and no doubt the way you soothed his bitten skin without criticizing and laughing at him.

The romantic/nurturing match can make for a very close marriage — and it’s good for any children and pets you may have. Congratulations, in advance!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just want to offer a few words to “Merry Widow,” the woman in her 60s whose beach date said, “Do you know your legs jiggle at the back?” Bravo to her for rising above what was said and for having the confidence to tell him they were going home ASAP. She sounds like a friend we’d all like to have!

— Cheering for Her, Winnipeg

Dear Cheering: Much of that spunky widow’s confidence came from her “heavenly husband” who would never let her criticize her own body, but would shush her and say: “I love every cell of your body.” He left a beautiful legacy.

More couples should give their earthly mates and their bodies total uncritical love and loyalty. It’d free a couple to be uninhibited and affectionate with each other, forever.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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