Don’t waste time: be up front with beach-town hunk

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 10/07/2021 (1859 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m writing from the lake where I have my parents’ cabin for four weeks — my holiday from work. I have a plan to start writing the first chapters of my upcoming book.

But I’ve written only two pages so far because my head is swimming! This gorgeous guy who’s totally built lives and works in this beach town has captured my imagination, totally.

I run into him everywhere and I found out he has a habit of swimming after work, so now I’m going down to the lake every second day, so as not to look too obvious. He always comes over to talk for a few minutes and then hits the water and swims a long way out. I’m mesmerized.

He waves goodbye as he grabs his towel on the shore — and doesn’t stop to talk again on the way out. I can’t figure him out. Is he avoiding me?

— Cold Shoulder on the Way Out, Lake Winnipeg

Dear Cold Shoulder: Stop wasting your time, energy and writing juices. It’s quite possible this gorgeous guy has a girlfriend or wife making him supper, and he has no time to linger. But maybe he does like the tingly feeling of a woman watching his powerful swimming. Good for the ego!

Next time he stops at your blanket, ask him outright if he’s single. If he says no, then you know to give up meeting him and daydreaming about him, and get on with writing your book.

But, if he says yes, give him a big smile and ask him out for a date, as in: “Want to get something to eat after your swim tomorrow?” This will sort out the situation one way or the other, which is better than living with a head full of questions.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My very new girlfriend — couple of dates, no sex — arrived at my door at 2 a.m. last night. She said it was too hot to get to sleep at her house — and could she please come in and sleep in the air conditioning? So, I let her in.

I put her, with cool sheets and a pillow, on the couch, and went in the bedroom and locked the door. I did that because I’m not sure about her, or her motives.

Sure enough, at about 3 a.m. she was knocking and calling out my name. I’d been awake staring at the ceiling thinking hot thoughts about her, anyway. So, I caved.

We had a great time, but I got the scary feeling she thought that sex sealed the deal between us, and I’m still just getting to know her.

I’m not sure of anything, as it’s too early and she’s a complicated woman — with a baby girl who’s staying at her mom’s house right now, because it has full air conditioning. What to do? What to think?

— Ambushed! River Heights

Dear Ambushed: This young woman was looking for heat, not cold, when she came over to your place at 2 a.m. She could have stayed at her mom’s air-conditioned house with her baby. She didn’t even phone you first! She came to hit you up at 2 a.m. — for one thing. And she did it again by 3 a.m.!

That sneaky move tells you she’s not a straightforward person. Plus, there’s a third little person for you to consider. Children don’t need a revolving door of “daddies” they get attached to only for them to be quickly gone, and it hurts all over again.

I’m not saying don’t ever get involved with someone with a child, just don’t be one of those come-and-go daddies. If you fall into a strong, trusting love relationship with the mom and know from the beginning you’d welcome her baby, then you’re not setting up a situation that’s likely to cause harm.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my wife’s bikini collection, but she’s taken to wearing an old lady-style one-piece suit with big flowers on it since our baby was born.

OK, so she has a tiny paunch to her belly where the baby stretched it a little! She’s actually quite slim again and would look far sexier in her bikini than most women.

I asked her to wear the special red bikini I love, and she said, “I’ll never be in that kind of shape again.”

I said: “So what? You don’t have to be model-perfect to be perfect in my eyes!”

Should I get a pair of long-legged old man “trunks” to wear now I’m over 30 and the father of one? Please help us.

— Too Young for this Nonsense, Lake of the Woods

Dear Too Young: You’re looking through the eyes of love. Convince her to wear her red bikini in the bedroom, and she might start feeling better with it. Then maybe she’ll even wear it for an evening swim on a night soon after. But don’t expect her to wear it to the beach when there are lots of people and she might feel self-conscious. People do stare and criticize at the beach, as they have nothing much else to do. By the way, how do you feel in your men’s bikini — or do you even have one?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.