Try to straighten out narrative with lost love

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/07/2021 (1912 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Something very strange just happened. I saw this woman from the back on a hiking trail, and she looked eerily familiar, even her walk.

Then I saw she had long red hair — with grey in it — not familiar. Suddenly, I caught up with her and saw the side of her face — and it was her, the woman I was in love with in college! Only now, she’s middle-aged like me.

I called out my pet name for her. Then she turned around and the smile grew in her big brown eyes as she recognized me and said her old nickname for me. We stopped and stared, and we both had a tear in our eye.

I gave her a little hug which she turned into a much harder, clinging hug. (She always was a passionate girl!) I asked her if she was married and she said, “Not really, anymore.” I looked at her and said, “I’m definitely not.”

And then she gulped and ran away crying.

We broke up over a huge misunderstanding almost 20 years ago. I tried to get even with her because I thought she’d been cheating. I ended up marrying my next girlfriend because she got pregnant by me.

I heard from my mom, who was very close to my first girlfriend, that she got married about five years later. I also found out (too late) my first love had not cheated on me.

A guy I knew and trusted had lied to get her away from me, and it worked. But he didn’t get her for good, and she went to university in Ontario the next fall to get away from fools like us.

I’m recently single again, but I don’t know her exact marital status. I desperately want to see her and talk to her at length. — Dying to Find Her, Silver Heights

Dear Dying to Find Her: That hug was impulsive. It certainly means you’re forgiven at this point, and she was glad to see you.

I suspect your dear old mom might know her life story, and maybe even where she lives, now she’s back in these parts.

Call Mama and tell her exactly what happened — and she may sound guilty. You were both on the same path at the same time. If your mom really doesn’t know, she’ll do some digging for you.

You can do some too, by searching her maiden and married names on Google and Facebook. Got any mutual friends who’d talk to you? Get on it! if she’s available, and you two still both care, you don’t want to miss out twice.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went up to the lake and the cottage two doors down from me is a seasonal rental. There’s this lone wolf guy who is always out there suntanning or barbecuing. I hear he’s really nice, and he’s definitely hot because I can see him on his raised deck.

I never want to be too forward, but I wanted to get to know him. So, I sent my visiting bestie over there to borrow a garden tool and she didn’t come back for a whole hour — and she forgot the garden tool. I was going crazy waiting!

She came back and said, “he’s really nice” — that’s about all she said. I think she wants him herself. This could cause some trouble between us as I saw him first, and she was supposed to be helping me. Tell me what to do, please! — First Dibs, Lake Winnipeg

Dear Dibs: You sent another single woman over to try to hook this man for you? You don’t deserve to have him, and that’s what your friend is feeling.

She’s more than half right. You have no investment in this guy except ogling him.

So, save your friendship with your girlfriend, and go after someone different. This time, do the detective work and the initial flirting yourself, and maybe you’ll rightfully win the prize — if he’s interested in you, too.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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