Skirt spat riles previously unseen side of grandma

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This article was published 16/07/2021 (1902 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mom recently gave me heck for letting my young children (3 and 5) wear whatever they want. My son was wearing a skirt of his sister’s the other day when she came to pick them up. Grandma was livid! I had never seen this side of her; she always played the progressive mom. When it comes down to it, though, she’s obviously scared her grandson might grow up and wear a skirt.

I say we cross that bridge when we get to it, but how do I tell my mom to stay out of it? She is telling all her friends now, and canvassing for their opinions so she can pass them on to me. Now I’m the one who’s furious!

— Young Papa Bear, South End

Dear Young Papa: Since angry Gran is determined to shame her grandchild, and not listening to you, she needs a quick jerk on the chain and a time-out from babysitting. You also need to talk to her at length — perhaps on the phone when the kids are asleep. Explain that in your family, your son can choose to wear a skirt and your daughter whatever she wants. Also, Gran needs to know family business is private, and her old girlfriends are not part of your family.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve had both my COVID vaccine shots, the second more than two weeks ago. My boyfriend has not and has started hanging out unmasked with unmasked friends. He’s only had one shot and couldn’t care less about the second! I’m worried about living with him now, and especially about being intimate.

He claims the odds of his catching the virus are “low,” but I feel like he’s putting us in a bad spot and making me look like the trouble-maker. How do I get it through his thick skull? 

— Angry and Worried, Transcona

Dear Worried: Once you know something is toxic, and you’ve thrown it in the trash, you’d never haul it out and give it another chance. This boyfriend is displaying three traits that make him toxic to you. He is selfish, immature and lacks deep, protective love. Do you think he loves you enough to be your forever man? Think again.

Deep love involves a protective feeling and a true lover does not roll dice with the health of their dear one. Even with two vaccines, there’s a still a five per cent chance of catching the coronavirus and the delta variant is very contagious.

Why not say goodbye to this guy? He says his odds are “low” of giving anyone coronavirus, but low is not good enough! And what does he really know about the danger from the guys he’s hanging out with? He doesn’t seem to think about that.

This immature guy is deeply in love with himself, and what he wants. There are plenty of responsible, caring young men out there who couldn’t wait to get both shots — and have already lined up for them. Time to break free of this careless slacker.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a weird rivalry with my brother-in-law, who acts like I’m not good enough to be with his sister. This is born of my not wanting to watch sports with him, and started with me turning down that last Grey Cup party some time ago.

He started a psychological assault of a kind. He now invites me to watch every game in every sport with him, just because he knows I don’t like them. He’s doing truly childish things to try and get under my skin. He even tries to embarrass me in front of family by denigrating my work (I have an artistic job) and calling me a nerd.

I hit the roof recently and told him off — and then my wife told me off! Her brother had it coming. I told him if he didn’t show respect, we will not be seeing each other at all anymore!

I told my wife I think her brother has a man-crush on me. I pulled away from him instinctively. This sport razzing, I theorize, accounts for his overreaction to my rejections. My wife hit the roof and was totally irrational, because it’s her darling younger brother. What do I do here?

— What a Mess, St. VitaI

Dear Mess: Something may well be up when a guy is pushing this hard to get the attention and company of another guy. He has other buddies who’d watch sports with him, but he’s weirdly upset you won’t. Explain carefully to your wife that you feel this uncommon pressure from him and that your reaction is instinctive.

Expect her to be initially upset and deny the issue, but she might go away and really think about it. It’s doubtful she’ll continue to push you towards him, and she’ll eventually get it when you when you refuse his invitations. Wait a few weeks after talking to your wife to let things settle down between you two.

When brother-in-law calls again with an invitation — and he probably will — tell him in a pleasant, flat voice you don’t want any more sports-watching invitations and that he’s just wasting his time. Then change the subject, pleasantly.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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