You’re not playing for keeps, so move on

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/07/2021 (1888 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a big fan of a certain sports team and it’s suddenly “too much” for my girlfriend, after three years. She’s never liked sports generally, but apparently I’m making her sick. Yes, I watch every game I can, and I do like to wear my gear when I watch. Big deal!

I don’t spend all my money on memorabilia, and I don’t go out and drink a ton. I’m not a “sports weirdo,“ as she called me recently. I just like to get caught up in the excitement, like any fan. I also played the game all my life, so I have a deep-down love of it.

I’m not about to just stop doing something I like for someone I’m dating! We’re not living together, but she’s over here all the time, because she lives with her parents.

I guess we love each other, but I feel angry about her secret resentment of me for three years. What do we do?— Passionate Sports Guy, Fort Garry

Dear Sports Guy: It’s not really been three years of sports resentment, or she’d have been long gone!

It’s bothering her now because she’s hit the end of the relationship trial period in her mind — and she’s wondering if she really wants a lifetime with you.

If she can get you to reduce your rabid sports-watching, perhaps yes. As it is now, she can escape by going home to her folks’ house during games. If you lived under the same roof, there’d be no escape.

It’s interesting you say you’re not about to stop for someone you’re “just dating.” That’s the clue to solving this problem. You’re not nearly as invested emotionally as she is.

She thinks your sports are getting in the way of loving her more — but no! You say you “guess” you love her, but that’s not real love.

It’s time to set this young woman free, as she needs to find a man who’s crazy about her, and you need to find a sporty type who’s crazy about both you and your beloved sport.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My live-in wants to start an account with OnlyFans, an online group where the public can buy a membership. Then they can buy nude photos and sexy videos from women who post them of themselves. She only brings it up when she’s drinking, so maybe she won’t go through with it.

My girlfriend is a beautiful, very sexy woman, and I appreciate that about her, but I really don’t want her to do this. The thought makes me sick. I know our friends would all find out  and want to see her naked.

She certainly doesn’t need the money, so why? I’ve been told I’m overreacting (by her), and that I’m not reacting enough, by my best buddy. I hate that I’m being put in this situation. “Body positivity” is a great thing, and I’m trying to be liberal, but this is something else.

All her friends are celebrating her ambition to do this — acting like she discovered time travel. If I say anything, they call me a chauvinist and say, “It’s her body and she can do what she wants.”

Am I wrong here? I want her to myself.— Wanting to Stay her Only Fan, South End

Dear Fan: No wonder you’re upset. How would your girlfriend feel if things were reversed, and women could buy your nude photos and video performances?

It seems your private admiration of her is simply not enough. She craves exhibiting her beautiful body to others — and there’s a whole world of possible admirers out there.

Even if she’s only making empty threats when she’s drinking, she’s disrespectful enough of you to tease you with a real jealousy set-up.

Do you really want more of her? It’s time to walk away.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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