Nightclubbing done, but funtime’s not over

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/10/2021 (1770 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I used to love going to clubs as a young man, and still remember the feeling of excitement of being in a lineup out front. I really miss it! The pandemic has made it easier for me, knowing nobody is going out much, but as a guy hitting 40, with a wife and no kids, I feel like the fun is over.

My peers have resigned themselves to being parents — just staying home and watching their precious kids grow millimetre by millimetre.

I know I can’t pull off going to young dance clubs anymore (my wife would kill me), but are there any fun haunts for two 40-plus people in Winnipeg? I want to start going out a lot after the pandemic is completely over, but I’d feel ridiculous going to places with a bunch of young people wondering, “Why are you here, old man?“” I want to know what you’d suggest to make me happy again.

— Never Too Old, I Hope, Wolseley

Dear Never Too Old: There are still lots of great entertainment venues with bars in Winnipeg for the 40-plus crowd. The trick is to check the events calendars for venues like Times Changed High & Lonesome Club, Silver Heights restaurant and bar, West End Cultural Centre, Burton Cummings Theatre and Park Theatre, for starters. Check out online calendars for the acts playing, and get tickets if necessary.

Mark everything you want to go to on a calendar, so you can really see your life is going to be fun again — even if it’s getting off to a wobbly start with the fourth wave. Always check just before an event to make sure it’s still on, as rises in COVID numbers can postpone or cancel things. By the way, you’ll need proof of vaccination to get in — and your mask.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ate too much at a family dinner and threw up. My mother-in-law — who’s a great cook and a troublemaker — kept asking if there was something wrong with her food. It got very uncomfortable, so I went home and left my wife there with our baby.

I asked what was said after I left, and my wife said: “Not a thing. Mom seemed quite happy after you left. You insulted her by being sick on her food. You know my mother has never been fond of you because of our ‘oopsy’ pregnancy.” Honestly, I’m so sick of my mother-in-law’s attitude towards me! Yes, my wife and I did get pregnant before the wedding.

We were already engaged anyway and my wife hid the pregnancy well under her big dress at the wedding. When the baby arrived five months later, nobody even cared — except her mother — who doesn’t have a leg to stand on. She was also pregnant when she got married.

Her religious family considered it a big shame. Why would she try to heap that old shame she suffered onto her daughter? What a hypocrite! I stuck up for my wife and shut that nonsense down right in the beginning, and the feud was on.

My wife feels uncomfortable in the middle of this silent feud, and wants me to be “friends” with her mother. Ha! How do I make peace with someone I want to shut down whenever she runs her mean mouth?

— Loving and Protective Husband, Sage Creek

Dear Protective: Make a private visit to your mother-in-law to talk directly about the two generations of early pregnancies. Like many humans, Mom got some kind of satisfaction out of passing along the same shame she endured.

You need to tell this woman how deeply you love her daughter (and how glad you are she was conceived by her mother, no matter when) and that you see that pregnancy as a blessing, not a shame of any kind. Tell her that your child — her grand-baby — was not a shame or terrible mistake either! Your mother-in-law needs to get rid of the whole concept of shame to do with these pregnancies, and if you speak nicely, you can possibly help.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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