Double-dealing boyfriend’s move truly distasteful

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/11/2021 (1733 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My almost-identical twin sister and I have never had the close twin bond. We always competed in every area of our lives — who had more friends, better grades, who was prettier — but we never competed over boyfriends. So, I’m extremely shocked and hurt by my twin’s betrayal.

I was dating this guy for over a year. I fell completely in love with him. Then suddenly, he broke it off, saying he “didn’t love me, exactly.” I was heartbroken. For weeks I cried my eyes out. My twin could not have cared less about my broken heart. I actually got the feeling she enjoyed my heartache.

Now, I know why things changed. One of my friends told me she thought she saw me and my boyfriend at a restaurant, getting cosy. Upon closer scrutiny, she realized it wasn’t me, but my sister!

My broken heart has changed to complete anger. Now, the fight is on and I want to get her good. Or am I foolish to show my hurt? Should I just act like I don’t know anything? I’m so confused and angry that my twin could do this to me!

It won’t last, because I know him now and his emotions obviously don’t run deep. Should I wait until she gets a new boyfriend, and go after him?

— One Dirty Deed Deserves Another? Transcona

Dear Dirty Deed: Don’t try to bury your feelings. Have what’s really needed — a big showdown with your twin sister. Invite your parents to join the confrontation, as it’s bound to get ugly. It’d be interesting to know who made the first move — your sister or your boyfriend. That may come out in the fight.

This young guy should also hear from one of your parents, and be forever barred from the family house. His fantasy-come-true has caused bad blood, and that’s the last thing any family needs.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Your response to Worried Daughter was very good. That’s the woman whose mom has developed a romance with a man who lives in her apartment block. (I suggested it could be a good situation for both, and not to ruin it. —Miss L.)

Still, one piece of advice is missing — the “Silver Fox” could be nipping into the lady’s money. It happened to my mom. Both lived in the same apartment block and he seemed to enjoy her company, until all her money was pretty much gone. Then, so was he! Advise the daughter to keep an eye on her mother’s financial situation.

— Word to the Wise, Manitoba

Dear Word: The daughter could casually mention this has happened — on occasion, to sweet and generous women — and leave it at that. She could gently advise her mom not to start lending money, at all. By the way, there are sometimes sons and daughters who have their eye on the inheritance from their parent — of whatever size — and will do anything they can to make sure it doesn’t diminish.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was reading Torn Old Man’s letter to you regarding his indecision over what to leave his family. (I suggested this single man give a lot to the one nephew he related to, and a little money sprinkled around to other relatives to lessen the jealousy.—Miss L.)

I’m in a situation like this, except, unlike him, I don’t have “one I’d like to help.”

The lawyer who assisted me with my will — a woman with great insights and wisdom — asked me: “Which one of those nieces and nephews was there for you when you were going through breast cancer?” My answer? None of them. She asked, “Then why do you think you need to leave them anything?” It was a great question that really crystallized my decision.

Torn Old Man still has a relationship with one nephew he cares about, so he should leave something to him, without thinking he owes the rest anything. They clearly don’t care about him, and will know why they’ve been omitted.

— Fair and Honest Solution, Winnipeg

Dear Fair and Honest: The nice thing about writing your will and distributing your money exactly the way you want it is you’re not going to be there to hear the grouching anyway. Plus, families generally don’t gather for a “reading of the will” like in old movies — and recipients who get a cheque usually keep the amount quiet.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography