Holy Christmas cosplay, Batman!

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 08/12/2021 (1430 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend wants something special for Christmas — a scene he fantasizes about from Batman movies I’ve watched with him.

Yes, I could probably try to play the part of Batman’s babe, but I fear it’ll make me break out laughing when I see him in that old Batman costume from the basement. He used to wear it to Halloween parties when he was fit and sexy. He’s gotten pretty chubby and it’s not going to close in the back. It won’t be flattering. Help!

— Love My Batman Dearly, North End

Dear Love My Batman: Be a sport! Catwoman was Batman’s greatest love, so why not get her costume together for yourself, along with a sexy mask to wear?

You won’t giggle if you’re also wearing a costume and the room is almost in darkness. Then you can give the man you love dearly a gift he desires and certainly remember. You may even want to do re-runs, if it goes well!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is terrible at driving her car. She’s a hesitant, jerky driver, always stabbing at the brake pedal. The other day she jumped so hard on it, my head hit the visor, and I yelled. I told her I was finished with riding in her car, unless I was the driver.

She started to cry, saying she knows she’s “a horrible driver” and was sorry she hurt my head. Then she put her own head down on the wheel and blubbered. Crying always undoes me. I don’t know what to do. Please help us.

— Mean Guy and the Cryer, Charleswood

Dear Meanie: There’s an easy fix for this. Buy your wife a romantic gift for Christmas — and on Boxing Day, also gift her with expert driving lessons from a reputable driving business. She may end up being a better driver than you are.

Lots of people didn’t get much help when they were learning. Even those who did may have forgotten a lot of rules, tips and techniques, and they may have developed a heavy foot.

Just don’t make the mistake of thinking you can teach your lady to drive better yourself and save the money on lessons. That ship has sailed on an ocean of tears.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in regard to the lady who got shamed for bringing baking she bought from a “home baker” to a ladies’ Christmas baking exchange group.

Buying from a store would be a mistake, but buying from a homemade source — what’s wrong with that? She revealed it (to one person, who spread the news) and didn’t try to hide it, really. Worthy of a laugh, but not condemnation!

If this is a women’s group looking for camaraderie, they have a long way to go. They need to get over themselves! She’s better off without these judgmental women. I’m a baker and love desserts, wherever they come from.

— Lighten Up, Winnipeg

Dear Lighten Up: The only good thing about the shaming from this bunch was getting turfed out of the group. She also got her “purchased baking” back to serve some to real friends this Christmas.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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