It’s time to explore single-parent adoption

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/01/2022 (1648 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a man in my early 30s with an unusual problem for a guy. I desperately want to have children, and I’ve foolishly wasted my 20s.

The first serious girlfriend rejected me because she didn’t want to get married and have any more babies. She already had one child by her ex-boyfriend (a teenage marriage), and that was enough for her. Her aunt has that child and is raising it.

The woman I just broke up with recently felt she was “too old” to get married and try for a pregnancy in her 30s. Really? When I finally got her to tell the truth, she admitted she never really wanted kids at all. She said, “My business is my baby.” It shows! She’s an excellent business woman, works all the time and is on her way to making a lot of money.

So now, here I am. I want to be a father to a child, or maybe two, and I know I would be a very good dad.

I come from a family where I had great parenting. I know what to do. My mom is young at heart and loves children. She had me when she was young herself, and is up for being a a grandmother and daytime babysitter.

I have a good job that requires eight hours a day from me, no more than that. I keep thinking about single parent adoption. I know I could handle it. What do you think?

— Ready to be a Father, Winnipeg

Dear Ready: You already know for sure you want a child — or two. So, rather than doing any more ruminating, start taking action by researching the path to single parenthood.

In Manitoba, a single man or woman can adopt if they are checked out very thoroughly and found suitable. Start by checking online information for Manitoba adoptions at gov.mb.ca/fs/childfam/adoption.html, and be sure to write down all the questions that arise as you’re reading. Then make phone contact, so you can get those questions answered personally.

Good luck to you! Lots of kids need good parents, and good parents need children.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found a dusty package of letters in a box in the basement from an old boyfriend and read through them.

I treated him badly years, and tragically hurt him. Out of curiosity, I looked him up online and he appears to have a big house, pool, several cars and a family. I saw his whole life.

I was hard-hearted back in my younger days. Now that I’m older, I feel like crap over the way I treated that guy. I feel like phoning him up to apologize. I could phone him at his work. Should I?

— Owe Him an Apology, Southdale

Dear Apology: The best-before date on that apology expired years ago. The point of that phone call? Possibly for you to stop feeling like a jerk after reading those painful letters he wrote. Or, it may be to satisfy your curiosity on how he managed to make such a good life for himself after you dumped him.

If you really want to do him a favour at this late date, don’t call. You’re ancient history to him. He has built a life for himself. Don’t show up as a meddlesome ghost from the past. Your call will not be welcome!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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