Don’t let matchmakers shove you onto market

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/03/2022 (1650 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a wealthy woman now my husband has died. Not surprisingly, female friends have all kinds of matchmaking ideas for me. I need some time to get past the grief, but people are already asking me what kind of man I want.

How do I politely tell them to bite their tongues and leave me alone?

— Not a Commodity on Marital Market, River Heights

Dear Not a Commodity: You can stop them in their tracks with a plain statement like, “Please don’t try to matchmake for me. I don’t want it.” Anything weaker than that, and they’ll think you don’t know what you want, because you’re hurting and needing to be taken care of.

When there’s a lot of money involved and people know it, you need to be extra careful when you do start dating. The matchmakers are not thinking of that. They just like you, and in addition to thinking what they’re doing is romantic, they may be trying to even up the numbers so you can be invited to all the couples dinners and parties again.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for “Expecting Mommy” who wanted to “create” a new and unique name for her unborn child. Please don’t! (I advised that unique and different names make better middle names.—Miss L.)

As someone who worked in the school system for years, I must say new and unique names are very hard on staff, other students and most importantly, the child.

It’s humiliating to have to explain over and over how to pronounce your name, how to spell it and where it came from. The staff doesn’t want to embarrass the child, but unique names are often extremely hard to decipher.

When they become adults, it’s hard to imagine calling a professional person by some of these names. I realize that’s discrimination, but it exists. Who wants a lawyer with a silly name? Not me!

—Tongue Twisted, Winnipeg

Dear Tongue Twisted: Good points, but there’s also a problem with a name that’s too common. Kids who share a first name can end up being one of several in the same class. Then they often have their last name’s initial tacked onto the first name by the teachers. My friend and I went through school in the same class being Maureen S. and Maureen R. (Good thing we were pals since babyhood.)

Names can be different, but they must be easy to spell, they probably shouldn’t invite obvious crude nicknames or rhymes. Parents need to think of the child’s experience when naming them.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I read the letter from “Shaking My Head” on bringing pets to other people’s dinner parties. (I advised not to bring them, unless they’re expressly invited.—Miss L.)

I agree on people bringing pets to a dinner party, depending on training. I’m an old-timer now, but had a friend who always brought his dog into my house to visit. Years later, I had a dog, but he didn’t wish for mine to come into his house. Fine, but what goes around comes around!

People bring their kids into my house and let them run free. I don’t mind, but I have no little ones. But, on their departure, I have to reset everything on the TV, stereo , computer, bookshelves and anything touchable.

— Just Saying, Winnipeg

Dear Just Saying: There are many new etiquette issues arising from use of the many personal electronic items people have in their home.

Adults are much less likely to get kids together playing a board game these days, as they’re already playing games on their cellphones! Still, some limits need to be set for handling a host’s devices.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography