Nip dangerous flirtation before it blooms

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This article was published 29/04/2022 (1561 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I must confess that a married man with young kids is chasing me.

I’m paying him no attention, except to accept his expensive “anonymous” gifts of flowers. I own my own little business, so he thinks he can safely send big, gorgeous bouquets to me and not be caught.

He’s so obvious — stopping in a day after they arrive and commenting on my fancy flowers. He always asks if I have a boyfriend in love with me. I just roll my eyes! He obviously wants me to accuse him of sending those bouquets, but I won’t.

I’m divorced and a bit lonely, but I don’t want this silly, married man. Still, the flowers are beautiful and it massages my ego. I’m wondering lately if this game is a little dangerous. What do you think?

— Getting a Little Nervous, Winnipeg

Dear Nervous: It could be dangerous if his wife finds evidence of the flowers he buys for you or hears about the regularity his car is outside your shop, and does some investigating.

Why take any more chances? You don’t seem to want this guy, but his wife won’t understand that. She loved him enough to marry him. Then there are the innocent kids who stand to lose an intact family.

It’s time to stop allowing yourself to be cast in the role of a possible home-wrecker. That means telling this married guy nicely that the flower game is over, you aren’t interested in a romance and that he shouldn’t contact you anymore.

As for missing the flowers, hit the beautiful nurseries around town and purchase plants that keep on blooming and blooming — for both your home and shop. Did you know that one way to advertise for new love is to display who you are and what you’re really passionate about?

You may end up getting flowers sooner than you think — from a man you actually want.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I both feel we were cheated out of two beautiful summers by COVID, so neither of us is willing to sacrifice this summer.

I want to go visit our sons and their young families in Ontario and in the U.S. My husband wants to spend three whole months at our beautiful cottage by a lake here in Manitoba.

Our grandkids need to get acquainted with their grandparents, and I need to build relationships with these babies I don’t even know yet! My stubborn husband says: “Go! Do what you want this summer. Go without me, because I’m not going away to stay at other people’s homes instead of my own cabin.”

He’s already making arrangements to work from the lake this summer. I work in the school system and have most of the summer off, but he and our cabin and bore me stiff. I need your help.

— Determined Grandma, North Kildonan

Dear Determined: Go see the grandkids on your own — but be very careful. The young parents don’t need another parental figure overstaying their welcome in their home.

Couples appreciate grandparents negotiating the length of their visits ahead of time. One week may be too short with airline flights at either end, but two weeks can be long. A month may seem endless, even if Grandma’s helping out.

Arriving in your car, instead of by air, means you can drive home at any time, but then who decides when enough is enough? If you’re going to drive, decide ahead on an exact length of stay. If the parents end up begging you to stay, make it no more than a week longer.

Whatever you do, leave your hosts wanting you to come back for another visit — but not when hell freezes over!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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