Let sloppy smoocher lick wounds, move on

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m 17. I recently told my girlfriend she doesn’t know how to kiss. She is all tongue, and licks my face like a puppy. No surprise, I guess, as she is a dog lover. She has three of them at home. One of them keeps on having puppies.

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Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m 17. I recently told my girlfriend she doesn’t know how to kiss. She is all tongue, and licks my face like a puppy. No surprise, I guess, as she is a dog lover. She has three of them at home. One of them keeps on having puppies.

I’m her first boyfriend. I made some faces and told her exactly how I felt recently — “Yuck!”

I realize I hurt and embarrassed her. I just wanted to tell her nicely, but it came out at a bad time, when I was too frustrated.

How do we figure this out? She won’t even respond to messages or calls now.

Enough Licking, south Winnipeg

Dear Enough: She may want to lick her own wounds, and start fresh with someone else.

What you can learn from this for your future love life is to show people what would really turn you on, rather than telling them how disgusting their technique is. Good luck, now that you know what to do instead!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My parents are sweet, old-world people, like so many others in our neighbourhood. I have been reading the letters from some of them in your column this spring.

My parents are worried I’m not married yet — at almost 21. What bugs them most is that I’m not even looking. They want me to be “the happy wife” as my mother calls it, and “mother of many.” They have been willing to wait for “after university,” but they’re thinking I’ll go for just one degree.

I usually brush it off, but they are applying more pressure since I am graduating in less than a year. What they don’t know is, I’m also going to go after a graduate degree. I intend to be a professor in my chosen field.

My parents call me all the time when I’m studying. They’re always talking about how I need to find a nice young man, with the same culture as us. Both my mom and dad tell me my degree is “nice.“ (Dad says a smart man needs a smart woman.) But once I’m married, they think I should be staying home and letting my husband look after us “with his big money.”

Ha! They think university is a good place to hunt for such a husband. I don’t know what to tell them. I do want a career with a marriage and family, but with a modern working life for me too. I love my old-world parents so much! How do I bridge this?

Studying and Stressing, Downtown

Dear Stressing: Paint the whole picture for your dear folks, of what you’re aiming for in the end. Point out that it’s not so far from what they want. They were not wrong in thinking university was a good place to find a husband for their academic daughter. So, stress that aspect yourself.

You love university and you really need to stay there studying for a few more years, getting the additional degree(s) that will help you toward being a professor. Show them how the steps up the ladder work, and how you will soon start bringing in money with side jobs at the university. Be clear that’s where you’ll meet like-minded academic friends and the best possible life mate for you.

Once they see you’re all on the same train (though going slower than they’d like), your parents can relax somewhat. It’s when you tell parents they don’t know what they’re talking about that they dig their heels in. So, enlighten them with many details, ASAP.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

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