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Don’t steer into trouble with neighbours’ scrape

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I witnessed my neighbour hit another neighbour’s beautiful car — and she just drove away. What? I went out to look at the car and there was an ugly, long scratch. So, I put an anonymous note in the hit-and-run neighbour’s mailbox, letting her know that someone had seen her, and she needed to do the right thing!

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Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I witnessed my neighbour hit another neighbour’s beautiful car — and she just drove away. What? I went out to look at the car and there was an ugly, long scratch. So, I put an anonymous note in the hit-and-run neighbour’s mailbox, letting her know that someone had seen her, and she needed to do the right thing!

My husband says I should have kept out of it. What do you think?

— Bump-and-Go Witness, Transcona

Dear Witness: Instead of warning the bad driver, you should have told the victim you saw who scratched her car. A person who’d pull a “bump-and-go” on another neighbour’s car is not someone you need to protect and keep as a pal.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m gay, new to the city, and only recently out of the closet. I’m in my mid-50s, and feel like I missed a whole lifetime of growth and experiences. Who would want to date a guy who only figured out what he wants this late in life?

I don’t even know where to start finding a partner, and I’m not interested in casual hook-ups. I was a raging homophobe until I admitted to myself I was gay. It seems wrong to ask gay folks for guidance after being miserable about them in my whole previous life, albeit in another city.

I’m lost, but at least I’m living my truth now. Any guidance would be appreciated.

— Starting Over, Winnipeg

Dear Starting Over: Night-clubbing isn’t going to be your scene — at least not until you meet more people and make new friends in Winnipeg. A good way to do that is to contact the Rainbow Resource Centre, which is located in Osborne Village (rainbowresourcecentre.org or 204-474-0212).

First, ask about Out There Winnipeg, a group that programs a lot of fun activities such as hiking, biking, curling, billiards, gaming groups and more. Also, there’s a 55-plus group called Over the Rainbow that meets at the centre for coffee and in-person chats on Thursdays, 10 a.m. to noon, and also offers virtual Zoom meetings Wednesdays 10 a.m. to noon.

For full information on the Rainbow Centre’s wide range of activities, connect with co-ordinator Bryce Byron or resource people such as Ashley Smith, the older-adult programming co-ordinator. Good luck with your friend-making project. It’s absolutely the best way to start.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I hate my husband’s sleazy ex-wife (a drinker) who phones here when she’s blasted, and says things to me like: “Please, please let me talk to him. He’s the only person in the world who understands the problems I have with my mother! Wahhhh!”

I tell her to leave us alone, and she’s on the phone a week later in the same drunken state, crying for him to come over. The one time he caved in and went, he told me she’d already dried her tears, put her famous red lipstick on and had his favourite chocolate cake in the oven. Bless that man, he made a U-turn and came right home. I said, “Where were you?” and he said, “My version of hell” and then he told me the details.

He’s never gone back again, but she keeps phoning and phoning, and she’s recently started coming over and drunkenly banging on our door and yelling.

I know what everybody says, but don’t just tell me we need to get new phone numbers. We’re older and have an old-fashioned phone we love. My husband is the kindest, old-fashioned soul and has a hard time saying boo to anyone. I’m starting to feel very nervous and upset, as his ex-wife’s drunken calls are escalating into screaming.

— Harassed Couple, Tuxedo

Dear Harassed: Keep the antique phone and your old number, but do call your phone company and have her blocked from calling you on it. If she comes over roaring drunk again and banging on your doors, quickly put in a call in to non-emergency police services. It’s definitely time to stop this nonsense. You may need a restraining order to keep this woman away.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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