Be honest, but give semi-rural adventure a shot

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This article was published 26/08/2022 (1479 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife wants to sell our city house (worth lots now) and move to the outskirts to a property with a little barn. She wants to take in more rescue animals. She’s been a part-time rescuer/foster “mom” in recent years, and really knows how to care for animals.

I’m a boring accountant and kind of shy with animals. That said, I love our goofy old dog and have enjoyed other dogs and cats who have passed through. It’s a bit of a gamble to expand, and I’ve been dragging my feet.

We can easily afford to move. I invested our money wisely, and then house values took off. It’s not really the finances I’m worried about. But, what if it doesn’t work out for me?

I can bond with animals well, but I haven’t tried with multiples before. Nor have I tried living outside city limits. I’m afraid my wife is finding me a bit of a drag on her wishes and dreams, but what if it doesn’t work out for me?

— Hesitant Husband, Wolseley

Dear Hesitant: You’ll both be sorry if you try to squash your wife’s big dream without even trying. If it’s the physical labour that worries you, think about hiring part-time help. Also talk to your mate about what kinds of animals or breeds intrigue you, and which really do not. Truth-telling is all-important in this new endeavour, even if it’s a bit awkward at times.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is physically smaller than I am, and people give us the stare. Then they quickly look away, and whisper to each other. We love each other so much, but how can we cope when we know people are gossiping and sniggering about us? By the way, I’m not a shy person, but he sure is.

— Big Lady, Small Man, southern Manitoba

Dear Lady: If you can handle this, say quietly to a gawker, “But our hearts are the same size,” and then smile and pass by. Leave them with that thought. Maybe that will make them think twice about what’s really important in a love relationship.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a very attractive man almost three years ago. He and I were both unhappily married. We both felt the instant attraction to each other and it showed unfortunately. People in our golf crowd noticed it. My husband and I dropped out of that group, at his insistence. He said he could see the sparks flying — from the other guy. He didn’t mention the sparks flying back from me.

Our marriage finally dragged to a halt a couple months ago. Recently, one of my old golfing friends told me the man I liked so much was still free. He hasn’t called me, though. Should I call him?

— Wanting to Call, But Scared, St. Vital

Dear Wanting To Call: This man may not have heard the news about your marriage ending. It may not be too late to call him, even if some other woman is after him already. Ask him out to play a round of golf, since you’re both sporty. Then go out somewhere with good music and great food. It’s worth a try!

One little warning: You already know you’re physically attracted to each other, but don’t play the sex card right away. Sometimes, it’s too much, too soon, and one or both people are embarrassed afterwards. That can actually slow things down. Be careful with that aspect, and good luck.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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