Shelve jealousy over wife’s remote work setup

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/08/2022 (1451 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I lived at the beach all summer long and really didn’t want to leave. I actually enjoyed working from our beach house office on the back deck, as did my wife.

Now everybody at my biz has been asked (nicely but firmly) by management to come back into the office, as new projects are happening. I’m suddenly home again in the city — alone.

My wife, as it turns out, is free to work from her computer “wherever.” She tells me she intends to stay at our beach house year-round, and I can come out on weekends. Really? How good of her. What kind of marriage is this?

I’m shocked and I must admit, jealous. Somehow I expected more loyalty from her and a bigger desire to be with her husband.

— Back in the City Alone, Winnipeg

Dear Alone: This is not a good time to get mad, and a battle is not recommended. In the next few weeks, cottages are about to empty out, and your city wife probably won’t like the stillness and the sudden absence of people.

Unless she plans to get involved in the permanent beach community, there’s a good chance she’ll get lonely and pretty bored. So, hold your fire!

Let your lady find out what she wants, without any pushing from you. It can be eerily cold and quiet living at the beach — particularly October through April. So don’t make this an issue of pride where she thinks she has to stay and tough it out.

Also, you should start going out with city friends, to reconnect and have some fun. Whatever you do, don’t stay home and sulk. Report back the good times you’re having to your wife, and go to see her almost every weekend. If there’s something great happening in the city — or the weather is bad for driving — don’t feel bad for not going.

Live your best life in this situation and let your wife come back to the city if and when she’s ready. It’ll likely be a lot sooner than you think.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: OK, this is embarrassing. I was so bored and lonely one night, I went to the bar for one beer. An older man bought me several beers, and seemed kind and nice, and we ended up talking for a couple hours.

We got together several more times, and three weeks later, he offered me a job as his “live-in housekeeper.” The deal was I’d cook and clean for him and he’d give me a little money.

I have cooked in decent restaurants, and needed work, so I accepted the job offer. I told him “no sex,” and he pretended that was the best plan.

Then he started bringing home flowers and clothing for me, and he couldn’t have been sweeter. So, we ended up in bed. But now, he’s getting nasty — mean words, but not physically. What should I do now?

— Feeling Scared, West End

Dear Scared: You don’t owe this guy any advance notice, as he’s verbally harassing and scaring you. Make sure you have friends to help you move out, and maybe let you stay at their place for a little while, until you get work.

Be aware this man may actually be hoping you’ll leave so he can audition his next “housekeeping” candidate, but don’t count on him to be pleasant about the sudden move.

The best news? Restaurants have been opening up again all summer. Employers are looking for more staff this fall.

Start job-hunting ASAP in your industry, and take the first decent job offer so as not to wear out your welcome with your friends.

To make them happier to keep you, cook them delicious foods whenever you can.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography