Steer ‘little princess’s’ idolization into good works

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This article was published 02/10/2022 (1452 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My 10-year-old daughter thinks she’s a royal princess. She’s gone through every TV and online show about the queen’s funeral 10 times. She says she’d be a better princess than anybody. I believe her!

The other day, she gave her teenage sister (a pushover) some money from her piggy bank to buy a bunch of magazines about the queen’s funeral. She read some alarmingly raunchy stuff about the royals and their past exploits.

Now, my little girl is too well-versed on what nasty things happened, particularly with Diana and Charles, leading up to her death in the tunnel with Dodi Al Fayed. She is shocked! We can’t undo what our daughter knows, but how do we as parents deal with this kind of upsetting “adult” knowledge in our kid’s young brain?

— Worried Parents of Canadian Princess, Tuxedo

Dear Worried Parents: Hear your child out, and then talk with her about the royal issues she’s learned about until she gets bored of the topic (and your eyes are likely glazing over).

Here’s a possible way to get your little princess away from poring over injustices done to Diana: Steer your daughter (and yourself) into child-benefitting charity work — the kind Diana valued. She may feel she’s carrying on the good work of a royal she idolizes.

As for the sexual misadventures of the royals, speak of it as “foolishness” rather than getting too heavy, or dismissing it too lightly. Keep emphasizing that royals are just people who happened to be born into a certain family, and work for the monarchy.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve had some very unusual girlfriends in my life — because I let women online choose me. I’m almost 40 and it’s been quite the ride. I’m not married, because I come from a huge family, where I had to be like a parent to younger siblings. I don’t want children. Instead, I travel worldwide for my job, and love it. It allows me to connect with women from other countries I first meet online.

So what’s my problem? I politely rejected a certain woman after meeting with her for a few days in her country this summer. She responded by calling me a “dirty, old man.” That really burned me! She’s in her mid-20s, chose me online and always knew my actual age.

I had visited her this summer and we had a lovely time! But then, she wanted to get serious. I told her marriage is not for me. She started to cry and said I used her, and she would be embarrassed her with her family and friends. I was hurt and upset by that.

How do I avoid this happening again? Do I refuse to meet a woman who wants to meet me if she’s under 30? Do I have to tell her before meeting her I don’t want children? That seems premature to me.

— Hardly a Dirty Old Man, Winnipeg

Dear Hardly: If “having a lovely time” was a euphemism for having sex with this younger woman who’s so upset now, she may have mistakenly thought you were becoming emotionally attached. When you finally corrected that notion, she felt used — and called you a dirty old man. No surprise!

A better question to get to the heart of this matter is, do you actually have sex with all these women? You sidestepped that issue in your letter. Many countries outside North America have different values, beliefs and customs. They may expect love and marriage to go with sex. It’s time you started “shopping” for girlfriends in Canada and the U.S., making it plain you never want to get married and have children, and just want a playmate.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m an embarrassed vegetarian. I ate something disgusting at my girlfriend’s family party to try to please the hosts. I felt sick about it and threw up in their bathroom. Her family is not broad-minded about food preferences and beliefs. If I become part of this clan, there will be many family dinners where there’s a glistening bird or glazed ham on the table as the main event.

My girlfriend supports my beliefs and practices, but is not a vegetarian. My whole family is vegetarian, and I’m happy to be one. I just don’t want to have to choose my life partner from the small pool of vegetarians in this city. What can I do?

— Oddball at Dinner, St. Boniface

Dear Oddball: You can still eat with your girlfriend’s family, but from now on, bring your own generously-sized vegetarian side dish and a substantial main course item you can share with other guests. That way your host doesn’t have to worry even for a second, about what you’ll be able to eat. Make sure you also eat some of the host’s veggies, and compliment them lavishly.

Being an “independent” vegetarian dinner guest has perks. It means you can comfortably choose a life partner from the larger pool of romantic talent out there, and it doesn’t matter what their food beliefs are.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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