Let showman Santa bask in his solo spotlight

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/12/2022 (1021 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend likes to dress up as Santa and visit friends at their Christmas parties. He’s in his late 30s now and he still loves to make people laugh. He brings goofy toys and candies to hand out and puts kids and adults kids on his lap to pose for funny photos.

He’s going to do it again this year after a couple seasons off due to the pandemic, so I offered to drive him around when he makes his appearances. To my surprise, he said, “It’s great you want to drive me around, but what will you do in the car when I’m inside?”

I said, “I have an idea. Why don’t I dress up as Mrs. Claus and come in with you?” He turned the idea down flat. I feel quite deflated. Why in the world wouldn’t he want me to accompany him?

— Rejected Mrs. Claus, St. Boniface

Dear Rejected: Santa is the star, and he doesn’t want a sidekick. It’s his famous solo gig for his friends, and he wants to be in the spotlight again! He doesn’t want a cute Mrs. Claus horning in on his act.

So let him enjoy his time in the yuletide spotlight and instead plan a fun evening out with friend. Then you can catch up with him later and listen to all his stories, if you can stomach it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My uneducated mother-in-law doesn’t like me much and she’s very intelligent when it comes to subterfuge. I may be a college graduate, but she’s just plain sneaky. She gives me subtle little digs when no one is within earshot, often doing it by leaning over and whispering in my ear.

She’s really nailed me at a couple Christmas dinners when we were doing dishes together afterwards, and I couldn’t get away. When COVID hit, and we couldn’t attend big dinners, I was relieved. But this year, my husband accepted an invitation for both of us to attend. Please help me cope with my nasty mother-in-law, as I really don’t want to go and have even considered faking illness. I know that wouldn’t be fair to my husband.

By the way, she likes to sit next to him on a sofa, take his hand and hold it, and play with his fingers, which I find a bit much. What do you think?

— Her Walking Target, North End

Dear Target: You need to outfox your mother-in-law to derail the games she tries to play with you. So, play a game of your own: When she is socializing in a part of the room, shift yourself to the opposite side or another room, and get into a lively conversation with someone else.

If she’s determined to nail you, and calls for you to “help” her from another room, give your husband predetermined secret signal for him to go instead. She likes him better anyway, so it should work for her, even if she misses her chance to needle you at Christmas.

As for the finger-play thing, it’s a bit too touchy-feelie for most tastes, but that’s your husband’s little problem to deal with, if he wants to.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My single mother finds my gifts a little too techno, and not personal enough. I’d like to add something to her gift this year, but I’m not an openly sentimental guy. Could you help me with the words for a card?

— Shy Guy, St, Vital

Dear Shy Guy: Compose a card message with the “You were there…” theme. It includes short sentences that go something like this: “You were there when I learned how to walk… You were there when I started school… You were there to teach me how to lace up my skates,” and so on. Then you end up with, “You were always there, Mom!” She will hold that card near to her heart, and keep it forever.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.