Put heart before heft when it comes to gift-giving

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/12/2022 (1382 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new wife goes crazy with gift-shopping at Christmas. I know for a fact she’s already bought me lots more presents than I have for her. I bought her one expensive gift — a new washer and dryer set — and one smaller one of a perfume I really like, and wish she’d wear.

She has bought me about 10 gifts! She insists none of them are particularly expensive. I don’t want an obviously one-sided gift exchange, but I really broke the bank with my few big gifts. Please advise.

— Inexperienced Husband, West End

Dear New Husband: To even out this year’s gift exchange, buy a number of cute, sweet and funny little gifts to go along with your big blow-out present. Then you’re both opening roughly the same amount of gifts together. That way, no one is quickly finished with their gifts and watching the other keep on opening and opening theirs.

Wrap everything separately — even tiny gifts — and affix a sweet little note or two, even a funny rhyme you make up. You have to know this: While the big gifts are certainly appreciated, it’s those goofy words of love that will stick with her for months.

Next year, discuss gift-giving protocol with your wife ahead of time. You might find out she doesn’t want super-expensive, practical gifts like a washer and dryer for Christmas. That’s part of your home together, and she might even be happy to share those costs. Several personal gifts will go over better, with romance added in the form of cards and messages.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I caught my girlfriend with another guy coming out of our neighbourhood bar with her arm around his neck. She didn’t see me across the street in my truck smoking. This was much more than a buddy-buddy thing, as they kissed on the lips for ages, before separating to go to their vehicles.

I followed her home and waited to see if she’d come back out, and go meet him at his place. Lucky for both of us, she didn’t.

Later, when I asked her about it, she laughed in my face for being jealous and said, “You have no business spying on me, or being jealous of my old friend!” Old friend? Ha! I have an inside source, and happen to know she dated this “old friend” for a year in high school. Apparently, she couldn’t keep her hands off him then, but he dumped her for no reason he ever told her.

I’m really hurting over this — my heart, and yes, my manly pride. What should I do now?

— Feeling Hollow Inside, Brandon

Dear Feeling Hollow: You’re feeling hollow because you’ve been holding open a special place for this girl in your heart. She just doesn’t want to occupy it. She may protest she’s still yours, but you witnessed that kiss!

She may have been trying to re-attach herself to an old boyfriend who’s previously rejected her, but he didn’t stick around for more than one long kiss at the door of a bar. It’s time to let her go! Imagine yourself with a new woman who wants you as passionately as you want her, and get back in the dating game.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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