Let Santa have his time in the yuletide spotlight

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/12/2022 (1352 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’d like to comment on the letter from “Getting Tough on Tippling Aunties.” It’s sad Getting Tough feels the need to limit his visit with his old grand-aunties who he says, contribute food and refreshments for the gathering. His problem with them is they have too good a time tippling and playing games, and they stay too late. (I suggested he pre-order a cab come for them, at an appointed time. —Miss L.)

It’s also sad that if he sends his aunts home early, he’ll deprive his wife of some fun time with them, as she seems to enjoy their company. Two years have passed (since people could party), and his aunties are that much older. He may notice they’ve slowed down a bit.

It seems like they have no immediate family of their own (at least any near them), and must be so happy to spend time with Getting Tough and his family during the holiday. I’d suggest that when he’s had enough, he excuses himself saying, “Sorry ladies, but I can’t keep up with you, and I have to go to bed.” He should also clear this with his wife in advance.

– Also a Grand-Aunt, Winnipeg

Dear Grand-Aunt: The idea of this party-pooper putting himself to bed makes good sense! Let the grand-aunties and his wife enjoy themselves to the hilt. As for clearing it with his wife, that’s not absolutely necessary, as he doesn’t have to stay up to do anything. Maybe the aunties could stay overnight and have breakfast, with a well-rested Scrooge preparing it for them! But he may not want to pour them any mimosas.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: As an “old” grand-auntie of 59 years, I’d like to suggest another solution for “Getting Tough on Tippling Aunties.” If his wife is enjoying their company, and the aunties are generous with laughter, love, and food, why is he trying to find ways to end a wonderful evening?

Enjoy this one night of the year, as the aunties aren’t getting any younger. He could ask them more about their lives and growing up. And, he could be more generous in spirit, by not calling the cab too early.

—Young-at-Heart Great-Auntie, Linden Woods

Dear Young-At-Heart: Hubby isn’t enjoying his grand-aunties’ company, past a certain hour. In fact, he’s starting to feel pretty grumpy. Would he get a good response by quizzing the aunts on their past? Not once they start to party hearty. These fun-loving ladies came to have a blast — and his wife is a much better late-night match for them.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a flop at Christmas dinners. I get too excited during Christmas Day, and get very nauseous just before big family dinners. We have a big French-Canadian family, and this bugs some of my aunties and cousins. My mom just shakes her head. I’ve done this for years.

Once I throw up, I instantly feel relieved and can relax for the rest of the night. I think it’s almost like a safety valve, like I save up all my Christmas anxiety and after I get sick, everything’s alright again.

My aunts and cousins say it’s weird, and affects their enjoyment of the occasion. My older sisters say I just do it to get attention. That’s not true! I’m willing to try to stop this year. But how can I stop it?

— Embarrassed Christmas Puker, eastern Manitoba

Dear Embarrassed: Instead of thinking anxiety-provoking thoughts like, “I’m afraid I’m going to throw up again because I always do,” try the opposite. “I hope I do throw up, and I’ll do it quietly, if and when I feel like it.” The panic button generally refuses to activate with calm thoughts like this. The anxiety may smooth out, if getting sick is no longer a fearful obsession. (If it does persist, it would be a good idea to consult your doctor about your anxiety issues.)

If just the thought of Christmas dinner with the fuss of too many people is really what upsets you, tell the host you’ll drop by after the meal this year. By then, people will be full and contented, and things will be more relaxed. Then you can just settle in somewhere cosy, and listen to the conversation. Some people love to talk, and are competitive in a crowd, so let them take over. Take it easy on yourself this Christmas.

By the way, your best drink at these parties is ginger ale, as ginger calms the stomach and often settles nausea. Your choice of Christmas candy? Just a little dark chocolate. Also, you should know that turkey tends to make people relaxed and sleepy, which may account for your ease after dinner.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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