New cowpoke may a bit too familiar for comfort

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/09/2023 (1100 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Five years ago when I was 18, I had some romantic dates with a very handsome “cowboy” from a country town. I was in heaven! He was older, and I couldn’t hide that I was falling for him. We kissed for hours and made out a little, but he kept saying, “You’re too young, sweetie, too young!”

After only four or five passionate meet-ups, he told me our relationship “had to finish,” with no reason given. I told him I was ready to give him my everything. He looked so upset, after hearing that. Then he put his head down and confessed that he was “previously committed.” It turned out he was married with half-grown kids!

I cried my heart out and ached for weeks — and then I finally had to go on with my life. That meant looking for a replacement.

I’m hopelessly attracted to a certain type now — cowboy-ish, old-fashioned manners, strong features, darker complexion and thick, dark hair. This summer I finally met a younger man of exactly that type at a music festival, and I fell for him! We spent a lot of time going to beaches and outdoor concerts. We talked about life, and made love in the sunshine by a special little pond we found.

I never talk about my past “loves” to new boyfriends, and we didn’t talk much about his life. Believe me when I tell you, I had no idea I was dating the nephew of my old love, until he came back from his family reunion. He started showing me photos on his phone. And, there he was in a picture with his arm around his uncle’s neck — my former love!

I felt sick. I said, “Take me home, right now!” I just couldn’t tell him the truth, and I still can’t, although he keeps contacting me. How can I tell him I had a love affair with his married uncle? Yet, I still want to see my younger man so badly! What should I do? — So Messed Up Inside, St. Boniface

Dear Messed Up: You dated his uncle years ago, when you weren’t aware he was married — but he stopped things short, before having sex with you. It’s possible your new boyfriend could handle knowing that much about his cheating uncle.

But if you got serious and met the whole family, could you handle running into the older version of the type you “love” — without feeling the old attraction and wanting him? That’s the question you have to answer ahead of doing anything else!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I have not been getting along since COVID hit. We stopped sleeping together after she was sick and I wasn’t. Due to my job, I could not afford to get it!

She got COVID from her very close female friend and I said, ”Could you not stay with her until you’re better?” She was miffed, but she did it. They bunked together for quite a time — too long, in fact. She came home for one night when the danger was over, and then went back. She’s still there!

As I see it, they got overly attached. That was partly my fault, as I didn’t put too much importance on two women sleeping together. I didn’t know their friendship had turned romantic. Now she tells me!

I’m extremely upset. She’s my woman and I want her to come home permanently, so we can patch things up, and get back to living the way we should be, as man and wife. What can I say or do, to make her come back? — Her Husband, Fort Garry

Dear Husband: In this century the title of “the husband” doesn’t give you anything much in the way of ownership or authority. You can’t just order “the wife” to come home and get back to her duties, and expect anything at all will happen. She may have her own job and her own money, but if she doesn’t, she can get both happening.

As for her relationship with this woman, she may be deeply in love and have a satisfying sexual relationship going with her. It might be quite passionate.

It’s time you talked this out with her, even if has to be over the phone. Then you two might want to see your lawyers and get legally free of each other. Though that may be hard on your pride, it means you can look for a new woman who actually wants to be with you as a person — and as an old-fashioned man.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.