Don’t let humbug bro spoil kids’ playtime together

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This article was published 08/01/2025 (630 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife and I normally leave our Christmas lights and big lawn decorations out, for a month after the holiday. Same goes for our big tree in the window. Why? The best decorations were homemade by our kids, and they deserve more attention than a couple short weeks around Christmas.

My crude brother and his family make fun of us, so we don’t invite them over after Christmas. My brother calls me, “Santa, the Christmas Freak.” Last night after dinner, he decided to drop, totally uninvited, by himself. Right away, he was sneering at me about being too lazy to take our “ridiculous” decorations down.

My littlest boy heard and started crying, because he loves the holidays more than anybody. He ran to his bedroom, and my wife ran after him. She came back ready to blow sky-high. She pointed her finger at the door and yelled at my brother, “Get out of our house and take your mean mouth with you. Don’t come near us until you’re ready to apologize to all of us, in person!”

He stomped out the door, yelling, “Yeah, when hell freezes over!”

He got what he deserved from my wife, but I feel sorry for his kids who are my children’s favourite playmates. Now what should we do?

— Post-Christmas Explosion, Charleswood

Dear Explosion: It’s not up to you as Uncle Nasty’s brother to make the first move to fix this. Leave it to the moms in the family. When they want the cousins to play together again, they’ll work out their own solution.

One thing for certain you might mention to your wife is that it would be wiser for your kids if play dates were held under your roof for a while, as your children may be nervous being in the same house with your brother, no matter what has been worked out and what he’s promised.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m usually excited about the new year, but there’s so much scary news going on all around the world, my head is spinning.

I’m single and in good health otherwise and I’m a daily long-distance walker — but I feel overwhelmed and anxious. I have trouble going to sleep at night worrying about the wars and the crazy politics going on in the world.

I decided I can only concentrate on one part of the world, and that is Manitoba and my close surroundings. What can I do here?

— Anxious, St. James

Dear Anxious: You need to design an enjoyable life, with a weekly routine that’s over-full at first, and then you can cut back. Here are some ideas for you.

Why not get involved in some activities that could help you meet like-minded people and do some good. Volunteering is a great place to start. Groups dealing with food insecurity, such as Harvest Manitoba, regularly look for people to help out. You could also consider recreational sports or more arts-related endeavours as well.

If you’re interested in music, and aren’t an experienced singer, Margaret’s Choir is a non-audition city ensemble whose mission is “to sing for personal, choral and global harmony.” They aim to make a difference for both choir members and the community at large, and describe their repertoire as “varied and eclectic.”

As for sports, pickleball is taking off like crazy, and you’ll make new friends taking part.

Get connected and busy, and your mind won’t have to dwell so much on the negativity of the world at large.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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