A little compromise could go swimmingly

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This article was published 11/06/2025 (484 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: It’s June and my cute-but-chubby wife doesn’t want to go to any beaches. She was cheated on way back when by a weightlifter guy and blamed it on her imperfect body.

I’m betting it was really the fault of her relentless jealousy. I knew she was a jealous woman before we got married, but four years later, I’m so tired of her body-weight hangup that I can’t stand it.

We haven’t been to the beach together in two years. I want her to expose her beautiful round shape to people at the beach — not that they would care.

In fact, I think we’re a good-looking couple. She’s in her 30s and a very sexy woman with long black hair and green eyes. I’m tall and skinny, and I don’t want another skeleton like myself to play with in bed.

Yet she still thinks I may have roving eyes for skinnier women. I’ve never wanted that.

Today my wife said she would never be into sunbathing on the beach again.

Do I really need to scrape up the money to install a pool for us for two or three short months a year because of her weight hangup?

I think I just need the water and swimming, and I’m tired of our endless holiday discussion being all about her and her body issues.

How can we solve this, and fast?

— Annoyed Husband, North Kildonan

Dear Annoyed: Why not compromise with an above-ground pool — not big enough to break the bank, but big enough to have fun swimming with friends and family, and also for the two of you to play together in privacy.

When it comes to your wife’s “hangups,” have you openly expressed to her how much you like her “beautiful round” physique? A few compliments — especially when they’re honest — can go a long way to boosting someone’s self-esteem.

When it comes to a backyard plan, your wife might appreciate a funky little change room right by the pool, so she and other shy girlfriends can get into the pool without having to walk much of a distance feeling overly exposed.

An above-ground pool may not be the beach proper, but it’s certainly way more fun than stubbornly doing nothing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I can’t get that song My Boyfriend’s Back out of my head because it just happened. My Grade 11 boyfriend came back for our recent high school reunion with no wife anymore.

I was there and I’m single again myself. We both felt shy and had lots to drink, but we also got to dance together like old times. He even smelled the same — like beer and Old Port cigars.

He phoned me today, and my heart roared. But am I just asking for trouble?

— Boyfriend’s Back, southwestern Manitoba

Dear Boyfriend’s Back: The real trouble happens when single-again people lose their derring-do and won’t even take a chance on dating old friends or new love interests.

So why not avoid any future regret for not acting and go for at least one date with this old boyfriend?

If it doesn’t work out past a single date or maybe two, you will still have had an enjoyable time.

Most people simply don’t get enough fun in their grownup working lives, and it’s time people try to remedy that by taking some reasonable chances in their social lives.

It can be great for both emotional and physical health, and you’ll avoid the regret of not even having had the courage to give it a shot.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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