Unconditional creature comfort helps us cope

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I read your column and see many letters from people who go through a breakup and feel so all alone, unloved and totally without affection. Then I reach out for my company on the bed — my hairy old dog on one side and my cat stretched lengthwise on the other.

I found out long ago you can fortify yourself with love from pets who adore you and will never leave you.

You don’t have to break up with your animals when you meet a new human who becomes your forever love. You just marry that animal lover and add to the number of souls who love you.

— Never Without Love, West End

Dear Never Without Love: I’m reminded of a cousin who has always loved animals in the way you do, especially those who have been abandoned or abused. Their house was a favourite drop-in for me.

Whether you were feeling lonely, bored or fed up with people, work or life in general, you were always welcome to drop in at any time and cuddle cats or a pet rat, or have a bird land on your head and play with your hair. Love and affection can come into your life in many ways.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I put down big money for a ski trip in the Rockies and now my fiancée has magically found a new boyfriend behind my back. She only told me last weekend everything was off — the engagement, the relationship and the ski trip after Christmas.

I’m upset about the relationship breakup, but I don’t see why I should give up the ski trip. I could easily take a friend, and she already has another guy in her bed.

But my ex thinks we should draw straws over it. Ha. I paid for the whole trip in advance because she said she didn’t have the money until after Christmas.

So last night I phoned and told her to forget about getting the trip. It’s paid for, in my name.

Today I hear she’s raising hell, telling our mutual friends what a jerk I am. What do you think?

— Can’t Win for Losing, St. Vital

Dear Can’t Win: Try not to let her hammer you with guilt after she backed out of your wedding with a new guy already in her life.

It would make better sense for your ex and her new honey to slap down their own money for a ski trip to a different location, whenever they would like — but you’re taking the trip you’ve already paid for, with whoever you want to accompany you.

Unless her new guy has a good amount stashed away in a vacation fund, they may not even have enough money for a reservation anywhere at this point and will need to save up. Too bad.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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