Just focus on getting your cottage built this year

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m building my own cottage this summer if it kills me.

I was all set to do it in the province last year just before the fires started raging. My crew of friends got scared off, and they’re still not keen to help me build a cottage that could burn down one day.

I have the money to contract a building crew, but the idea was to do it as a gang of buddies and enjoy the experience together. What now?

— Disappointed Cottage Lover, central Manitoba

Dear Disappointed: Accept your reality. Your friends were scared off by the fires, so you must pursue a new path. This cottage was always meant to be all yours, and you can still afford to get it built, so hire the builders you need, and go for it.

But you’ll have to move fast, as the snow will be gone soon enough and you need to get a crew locked down before they’re all booked up for the summer.

And don’t worry — your buddies will come back, however sheepishly, once you have a great cottage going up and it looks like fun.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Should I let my kids watch the news, with all this war and destruction in the Middle East being shown? I mean, it’s our reality in 2026, but would it help for them to know about what’s really happening in the world?

Will it just mess up their heads? How old do they need to be to see this kind of scary stuff? I don’t want it to cause nightmares.

— Loving Dad, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Dad: Young kids don’t need to see bombs exploding and people running screaming in the streets. But it would help if you sit with teenagers who might be OK with it to watch and explain what’s going on in terms they’ll understand — and assure them of their safety.

As teens, they will be hearing lots about the situation in school from teachers and other students. So, study up on each development yourself and be able to speak intelligently with your kids about it.

If you look the other way and pretend it’s not happening, they will not respect you. Their information will only come from media, a teacher or two and kids at school, who think they understand, but may not completely get it.

Your kids really need someone who loves them to help them sort out worrisome emotional issues when they get back home from the outside world.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I got married last summer and it looks like we’re not going to make it a year.

She has not totally given up seeing the woman she was having a relationship with before our wedding, even though she promised to.

The biggest problem is she’s been pestering me to get her pregnant this spring. I don’t trust her not to get pregnant with me and then trick me by leaving me in order to bring up the child with her lesbian partner.

Sadly, I know my wife still loves that woman. What’s your advice?

— Scared Hubby, West Kildonan

Dear Scared: This is a dangerous situation for you. You might want to leave before your wife gets pregnant.

This marriage of yours is not a loving and trusting one. Your wife’s lady love has never given up — and you could unwittingly provide them a child to be raised by the two of them.

If your wife wants to start a family with this woman, let her find another way to do it. Don’t let her break your heart and mess your life up in the process.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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