Lack of lake-life love doesn’t bode well for bond

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m divorced and am enjoying being single again, but I have a problem arising with the spring weather. Aside from women, lake life is what I really love, and any lasting girlfriend needs to love it, too.

Remotely, I work very productively at the lake and I choose to do that from late spring until the fall.

This spring, my new girlfriend is not willing to go to the lake and do her work from there, although she could. So where does that leave us?

I’m not alone out there. I always take my trusted assistant with me — and she stays over Monday to Friday. We are not at all attracted to each other or romantically involved, nor near the same age.

I pay her well to work away from home at my large cabin, but she’s quite the lake-lover herself. She comes and brings her dog and has her own little cabin on my property. She cooks for us both (for extra money) and it’s quite the deal all round.

My new lady friend has her own life and her own friends in the city. I can sense she’s pulling away and I’m sad because I really like her a lot. I’m mulling over the possibilities and don’t know what to do. Please advise.

— Might Be Losing Her, downtown Winnipeg

Dear Might Be Losing Her: A serious lake-lover is best mated with another lake-lover. If you and your present girlfriend are not matched in this important way, you might be wasting the summer when you could be looking for a woman who absolutely loves your lifestyle.

So, try to take your girlfriend to the lake a few times on upcoming weekends and see how it goes.

If she’s twiddling her thumbs and missing the city by Saturday night, you’ll know it’s time to forget it. Then you’ll need to find someone who gets a kick out of being at the cabin and by the fire with a lake-lover like you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend’s little children love me and lately have been bugging me to marry their mom, which gets embarrassing at times. I’m pretty sure she and I might like to get married, but not just yet.

“What are you waiting for?” you may ask. I’m not sure if my girlfriend is ready after her last disastrous relationship. I know she loves me — she’s already told me ­— and I love her to bits, but I think she needs time to cool out and heal.

She got tricked last time around. Her man was nice to her until he married her and thought he owned her, and started treating her like a servant. He even kicked her hard a few times and called her foul names in front of the kids. Help me out, please.

— Love Kids and Their Mom, Silver Heights

Dear Love: Little kids don’t have the same sense of time as adults do. If you say, “Let’s go to the zoo this summer,” the littlest ones might start putting on their coats to go to the zoo right now.

Your lady may also have an altered sense of time because the violent marriage with the kids’ father is still too clear in her mind — like it just happened.

So, it’s up to you to dance slowly with this woman and her family. Keep things steady, kind and predictable. Show that your patience and your love are of the sort that last and last. That’s how you will find success with her in the end.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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